


Circuition

by DuchessKitty16



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Across The United States, Alternate Universe - Road Trip, Boys In Love, Continental Divide, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Getting over a Breakup, Grieving, Happy Ending, Interstate 90, La Push, M/M, Massachusetts, OT5 Friendship, Olympic National forest, Road Trips, Running, South Dakota, Strangers to Friends, Summer, Teacher Louis, Washington State, college graduates, montana, national parks, post grad life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-02 16:59:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 38,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11513601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DuchessKitty16/pseuds/DuchessKitty16
Summary: Louis has just graduated from college with a promising job as a teacher waiting for him in fall. But he's feeling depressed after a bad breakup with his boyfriend of 4 years, and he's not sure how he's going to get through the summer. His best friends Liam and Zayn propose going on a road trip across the country and Louis reluctantly agrees to go.Along the way they meet up with Harry and Niall who are also taking a cross country road trip of their own. The five become fast friends and agree to travel across the US together.Louis and Harry have an immediate connection but neither is sure whether it's enough to get them each over their heartbreaks. Will their instant chemistry and new summer romance survive past the summer?





	1. ONE

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Champagnerose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Champagnerose/gifts).



> I wrote this fic based on this prompt I received:  
> Roadtrip AU, Louis is heartbroken after ending a four year relationship (you can pick a reason) and Zayn brings up the idea of a summer road trip. Not only to cheer his best friend up, but also to be close to his long time best friend Liam who’s oblivious. Who Zayn has been crushing after for years (only Louis knows). Louis reluctantly agrees to go after some persuasion. They go on a month long holiday (you can pick where exactly) and surely there’s ups and downs. Along the way they run in Harry and Niall, who are also on a holiday trip. They run into them a lot and end up at a the same run down hotel in the middle of nowhere together. Harry and Louis have instant chemistry and this will be Louis’ crutch to be happier.
> 
> I feel so lucky to have been given this prompt for the Summer Exchange. I have been wanting to write a Road Trip AU fic for ages, but I kept putting it off. It was wonderful to have an excuse to write one, so I'm grateful for that. It took me longer to write than I had originally hoped, but I'm really pleased with the outcome.  
> I couldn't have done anything of this without the tremendous help of my fabulous beta Twopoppies. THANK YOU SO MUCH GINA! xoxo
> 
> Champagnerose, I hope you enjoy this, and that it meets your expectations.  
> There is a Spotify Playlist for this story.

**circuition**

[ _noun_ ](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/noun) cir·cu·i·tion \ˌsərkyəˈwishən\

 

Please listen to the [Spotify Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/1256133734/playlist/5w3LOQSVsjakLav8FeSxZX) that accompanies this story.

 

**Circuition**

Louis burrows further into the nest of comforters that he’s made for himself on his less than comfortable bed. This bed is definitely something he won’t be taking with him to Hyannis in August, and won’t miss. But right now the lumpy, old bed is his sanctuary. Louis is having what his mother would call “some down days”, but the “some” in this case has been over 60 days and even he realizes that he’s not just down, he’s downright depressed.

Louis flips onto his back and decides to go through a mental list of all of the reasons why he’s lying here in this pathetic state. First and foremost, Rick. Rick is his ex. They were together for four years until Louis caught Rick cheating on him with this asshole named Mark who was in the music business program at Amherst College with Rick.

The image of Mark and Rick, naked from the waist down, fucking in one of the soundproof practice rooms in the basement of Arms Music Center keeps running on a constant loop through Louis’ mind. He can’t stop thinking about it. Louis had just finished his last term paper and left the Amherst library feeling more happy and buoyant than he had in months. He was feeling so good that he decided to surprise Rick who was supposedly composing music for his last project for the school year. Instead of finding Rick hunched over a piano in one of the practice rooms, Louis instead looked through the window of the door and saw a blond stranger sitting on his boyfriend’s cock, their arms wrapped around each other, kissing filthily.

Six screaming rows that almost came to blows, four crying jags that led to pleadings for forgiveness, and two revelations that Louis had been lied to for almost an entire year on almost every front, had ended a relationship that had taken up almost the entirety of Louis’ university experience. He felt betrayed and broken, but more importantly, like he had wasted at least a couple of years of his life for nothing. He blamed himself for not seeing or heeding the warning signs sooner. Louis had squandered his love on someone worthless; he no longer trusted his instincts or his heart.

So Louis now lies on his uncomfortable bed and berates himself for letting Rick take the best parts of him and throw them away. And he lies there hating himself a little more each day, making promises to himself about the changes that he’s going to make in his life; bargaining with himself so that he can muster enough motivation to even get out of bed and take a shower, much less actually leave the apartment that he shares with his best friend, Liam.

Speaking of Liam, Louis hears the door to their apartment open and close quietly. Liam has been incredibly patient with him for the past couple of months, tiptoeing around and trying to give Louis as much space and time to heal as he can. But Louis knows that Liam’s kindness and generosity is wearing thin. The fact remains that in just 9 short weeks they have to be completely moved out of this apartment; moving on to new and separate lives. Louis sits up and looks around his bedroom, falling into further dismay at the reality that he has just over two months to pack and consolidate everything in the room and leave this space, which has been his for over three years. 36 months is a long time to be in one place; it’s enough time to begin to feel the floorboards growing little roots that are nipping at his feet and wrapping around his ankles. The idea of packing up and leaving this place terrifies Louis more than a little. He feels the weight of change and new beginnings like an anchor tied around his body; instead of feeling free and excited about a new city, a new place to live, a new job, Louis feels like he’s drowning. He feels like he can’t breathe. “Fucking Christ, Tommo, get it together!” Louis yells out into the empty room, feeling a panic attack coming on, and closing his eyes to try to catch his breath. He cycles through four deep inhales and exhales, and lies back down pulling the comforter around himself tightly.

Louis knows he should be happy, even despite all of the drama with his love life. He knows that a large percentage of people graduate from university with no ideas about what they’ll do, no prospects of a job in whatever field they’ve studied, and destined to live on their parent’s couch for an indefinite period of time. He and most of his friends are lucky because they have opportunities and bright, immediate futures.

Liam is joining the Army’s officer’s candidate school and beginning medical school in South Carolina, and Louis will begin teaching English Lit and running the Drama Club at a prestigious private boarding school in Hyannis Port, MA on Cape Cod. He’s had Liam in his life since they were twelve and on the same neighborhood league soccer team; Liam the shy, chubby kid who played terribly but was so earnest and kind that you couldn’t help but love him; Louis his constant defender and the boisterous, charming, tornado of a child that was a force to be reckoned with. Louis isn’t sure he’ll know what to do with himself without Liam being a constant daily presence. He just adds it to the stack of issues that are depressing him.

As he turns over onto his back, Louis is fairly sure he hears Liam standing outside of his bedroom door, probably trying to make sure that Louis is still alive or something, but Louis hates his lurking.

“Liam! Don’t stand outside my door like some creeper. If you’re going to bug me, come in and do it face to face.” Louis croaks out from under his blanket cocoon.

Liam slowly opens the door and steps in. “Hey Lou. I heard you yelling…Um, where are y…jesus it’s dark in here. I’m just going to open your curtains and window a bit. Get some fresh air in here. It smells a bit dank in here, Lou.”

“No Liam, leave it…” Louis doesn’t get to say anything else before his protective little cave is flooded with light as Liam pulls his curtains back and struggles with his stuck window before wrenching it up. A cool breeze makes its way through almost immediately.

“Okay asshole, it’s time to get up.” How Liam manages to say this while still sounding sweet is beyond Louis, but it does accomplish its intended result when he slowly sits up peeking out from the comforter that’s still wrapped around him.

“Louis, I’ve let you grieve and mope around here for over two months. I’m your best friend and I love you and I know that fuckhead tore your heart up, but now, as that friend who loves you, I have to put my foot down and say STOP IT.”

Louis looks at Liam’s sincere face before looking down at his lap in defeat.

“Louis? You haven’t left this apartment in almost eight weeks. Hell, you’ve barely left this room. What are you on average taking, like one shower a week? You look like shit, man.”

“Hey…” Louis starts to protest but Liam cuts him off again.

“I’m seriously worried about you and I can’t in good conscience sit around and let you continue to wallow. I know this isn’t something that’s easy to talk about but, have you considered maybe seeing a doctor and maybe getting on some meds for your depression? I see that face you’re making, and before you protest just hear me out.”

Louis does start to object, but thinks better of it and nods his head for Liam to continue.

“You need to leave this apartment, Louis. You need to shower and shave that scraggly beard on your face; you need to do laundry and put on something that isn’t a pair of raggedy old sweatpants and t-shirts. You need to eat something other than cereal…”

“But I haven’t been eating only _one_ cereal!”, Louis protests. “I eat Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Frosted Rice Crispies, Lucky Charms...” Louis counts on his fingers before being interrupted.

“That’s a horrible diet! It’s all sugar!” Health nut Liam screeches, holding a hand to his chest like he finds this truly horrifying and offensive.

“I eat Grape Nuts when I want to be _healthy_.” Louis protests, doing air quotes on the last word. “I’m getting calcium and protein. AND my daily amount of Riboflavin!”

“PLEASE.  You’re unhealthy and you know it. You’ve lost weight. And before you say something dumb like you can afford to lose a few pounds, you know that’s not true. You look haggard and sallow. You used to run every day and play soccer on the weekends. Hell, you haven’t even played FIFA in the living room, much less done any exercising. I worry about you; you look run-down.”

“I AM RUN-DOWN!” Louis screams and throws the comforter off of himself and stumbles out of the bed to stand in front of Liam, fists balling up in rage.

“He broke me! That asshole broke me, Liam. He stomped on my heart, but more importantly he stomped on my pride. I can’t trust myself anymore. How could I not have known what was happening? How could I not have _seen_ ? I know you and Zayn hated him. Hell, _all_ of my friends hated him and saw right through his bullshit, so I feel like I should have known better. But I’m also angry that you and Zayn didn’t try harder to make me see what a shit he is! I feel betrayed. And the worst part is that Rick’s betrayal and the betrayal I feel from my friends isn’t the hardest to get over. I betrayed myself; and I don’t know how to ever get over that.” As Louis chokes out this last word it’s as if all of the energy he’s mustered up to stand and scream leaves his body and he slumps down to the floor.

“Oh bud. Lou-bear, I’m sorry.” Liam kneels down and wraps Louis in a tight hug. Louis sags against him and begins to cry. Will he ever run out of tears? Sometimes he thinks that his body is going to have to at some point reach a limit of production.

“I’m trying, you know?” Louis sobs out, rubbing his face more into the cotton of Liam’s shirt.

“I know Lou, I know.” Liam lets out a heavy sigh and Louis wonders if he’ll ever stop disappointing people or disappointing himself.

 

By the time Louis is out of the shower and dressed in a clean pair of sweatpants and a clean long-sleeve tee, he hears Zayn’s voice in the living room with Liam and goes to investigate.

As he gets closer to the main part of the apartment he listens more closely to Liam and Zayn’s soft voices coming from what sounds like the couch. Louis doesn’t want to disturb them, just in case Liam is finally gathering enough courage to share his feelings for Zayn, or on the off chance that Zayn finally has his head out of his ass, and realizes that Liam has been in love with him for years, and that the reason Liam hasn’t had a steady relationship since he broke up with Sophia a year ago, is that he’s in love with Zayn and always has been.

Louis hears Zayn giggle (giggle for crissakes!) and takes that moment to shuffle into the room. The first thing he sees is Liam’s beaming face smiling at Zayn who’s facing away from Louis. It takes both of them several moments to notice Louis is in the room.

“Louis! You’re up. That’s great.” Liam exclaims.

“Hey bud, you look better than the last time I was here.” Zayn chimes in.

“Thanks, I guess.” Louis rolls his eyes and makes his way over to the armchair across from the couch.

“Hey Louis, have you figured out what you’re doing this summer before you have to be in Hyannis? Did you get that nanny job?” Zayn turns to face Louis fully.

Louis pulls both of his feet up onto the seat of the chair and wraps his arms around his calves, resting his chin on his knees. “No. No plans. I didn’t get that job with the Hendersons. It’s probably best anyway; I would’ve had to start this weekend I think and I’m in no shape to do that.” Louis can’t believe how forlorn and whiny he sounds even to his own ears.

Zayn turns to Liam again and nudges him with his elbow. “Li, tell him about the call with your uncle yesterday.”

“Uh yeah. So Lou, remember my uncle Jack who lives in Worcester?”

The tentative way Liam asks this question as if Louis’ going to snap at him, startles Louis and makes him a little sad. Is he that bad?

“Uh huh, I remember meeting him. He’s the one with all of those classic cars, right?” Liam rewards Louis with a smile at him remembering that detail, so Louis feels better.

“Yep, and speaking of, that’s the reason he called last night. He’s just finished restoring a car that he’s giving to my uncle Tim for his birthday. He was going to hire a shipping company to take the car out there, but instead he wants to pay me to do it.”

“That’s great Liam. Your Uncle Tim’s on the west coast right? How long will you be gone? Don’t worry about me; I’ll get my act together sooner or later. I won’t die a hermit while you’re gone.” Louis hopes that his voice sounds more confident than he feels. He feels like he’s suffocating, imagining what he’ll do by himself for however long.

“Well that’s the thing”, at this Liam turns his head towards Zayn and gives him the biggest smile, which makes Louis internally gag. “Uncle Jack said that I could take my time getting out to the Washington coast where Tim lives. As long as I get the car to Uncle Tim by the end of June. So I’m thinking about making a vacation of it. A real old fashioned road trip; stopping at all of the sites and monuments along the way. Camping under the stars; all that fun stuff.”

Zayn jumps into the conversation with such a joyful tone to his voice that Louis becomes suspicious immediately. “And I was thinking that you and I could go with him, Louis.”  Zayn’s mouth abruptly shuts when he sees the murderous look that appears on Louis’ face, but then continues on. “Let’s take a bro vacation! A best friends road trip!”

“No. Absolutely not.” Louis interjects. He can already feel the panic attack coming on and he’s having trouble breathing, like the living room is closing in on him.

“Louis, hear us out.” Liam’s now getting in on this conversation and Louis begins to feel a little ganged up on, quite honestly. “This is a great idea that Zayn came up with. We get to spend our last few weeks together before real life starts and we have to separate and go our own ways in September. We can make a real bonding experience of the trip and have lasting memories that we’ll talk about for years. My dad says that one of his favorite vacations ever was the road trip he took with his 3 best friends in college. This will be fun!” Liam’s enthusiasm is hard to fight but Louis just frowns deeper and crosses his arms to show that he doesn’t want anything to do with this idea.

Zayn continues where Liam left off. “And this trip would be so good for you, Lou. No pressure about finding a part time job before you start at the academy in the fall. You’ll be out of this apartment; away from Amherst, away from the entire state of Massachusetts. No worries! NO RICK!  And don’t try to tell me that isn’t one of the main reasons for the crippling agoraphobia that’s settled in you; you’ve been terrified of running into Rick. Well, you won’t have to worry about that fucker any longer.”

Louis feels tears welling in his eyes realizing that Zayn has seen through the wall that he’s built around himself over the past eight weeks. He’s not sure if the tears that are threatening to spill over are sad ones or ones of relief because he doesn’t have to explain himself. His friends understand. Before he can swallow back the lump in his throat and reply, Liam jumps in again.

“And here’s what I was thinking about last night, Louis. What if we can pack up and move out of this place early? I bet Mrs. Thompson would give us a prorated last month of rent and we’ll certainly get our deposit back. That’ll be extra money in our pockets and we won’t have to worry about rushing right back.”

“You want us to pack up our apartment and move out before we leave for a summer-long road trip across the United States? Are you fucking insane?” Louis stutters out; he feels almost light-headed at the thought.

Liam stands up and walks over to where Louis is bent over with his elbows on his knees, feeling like he might hyperventilate. Liam crouches down in front of Louis and places his hands on top of Louis’.  “Louis, this trip will be good for you. It will be good for all of us. I swear, as horrible and as scared as you feel now, you’ll feel a thousand times better once we’re away from here and traveling without a care in the world.”

Zayn stands up from the couch where he’s been looking at something on his phone and walks over to crouch down in front of Louis as well. “Louis we can make this trip really fun. We can do something special. Like how about we decide to just take I-90 the entire way?”

“The Mass Turnpike?” Louis asks incredulously

“Yeah. I-90 starts in Mass and ends in Seattle. It’ll be cool to say we drove the entire thing. And I know you love stuff like that.” Zayn smiles and lifts Louis’ chin up trying to get him to smile, too.

Zayn is right, Louis knows. He does indeed love “stuff like that”. A road trip that travels entirely along the longest interstate highway in the United States gives the trip more structure and purpose, which is something that Louis craves and needs. Louis rewards Zayn with a small smile and a nod. Zayn and Liam smile back and turn to each other and fist bump. A plan is set.

 

It’s amazing how quickly everything falls into place and happens after that. All three sets of parents were thrilled with the road trip idea and have thrown their support and help in wherever and whenever it’s been necessary.

Louis is still in a self-imposed exile and can’t bring himself to leave the apartment yet, but has at least been out of bed bright and early each morning, freshly showered, and in clean clothes. He’s been packing and cleaning the apartment, going through all of his clothes, books, and music, deciding what he will keep and either take with him to Hyannis or store in his mother and stepdad Dan’s basement, and what he’ll get rid of by selling or throwing it away. And while he’s still not what he would call excited about this road trip, Louis does begin to find an inkling of happiness and satisfaction as he makes his way through each room of his and Liam’s apartment. Louis has never been what anyone would call organized, but he finds that methodically going through kitchen and bathroom drawers and packing and labeling items calms him and settles his fractured mind. He barely spends more than a few minutes a day thinking about Rick and he hasn’t cried in days. To Louis, that feels like a real accomplishment.

He’s just finishing labeling and taping closed the last of the kitchen boxes when Liam comes home.

“Okay, everything’s set…heyyyyy, look at the progress you made today, Louis! It looks great in here.” Liam looks around the apartment smiling at the dozens of neatly stacked moving boxes that Louis has organized in areas around the living room, kitchen and hallway.

“The bathroom is done, and I’m just now finishing the kitchen. All that’s left is to eat up what little food is left in the fridge and cupboards and throw out the rest.”

“Awesome. Well I have been to the local AAA office, did you know that they still have brick and mortar AAA stores? Anyway, I got our TripTik to travel along I-90 and also one for the Olympic Peninsula once we get to Washington. It shows all of the sites, monuments, camping areas and all that shit. It’s really cool. I also stopped by my uncle’s house to take a look at what we’ll be driving over 3,000 miles. The convertible is HUGE, man. It’s going to be like driving a boat!”

“Well I personally can’t wait to get behind the wheel.” Louis rubs his hands together in excitement.

“Woah woah woah. You won’t be driving, Louis. Uncle Jack specifically gave me instructions that I’ll be the only one driving that car until I hand the keys over to Uncle Tim.”

“But…”

“Nope. No, Louis. I’m driving. Period.”

“Fiiiine.” Louis pouts, but then smiles thinking about all of the pranks and annoying games he can play at Liam’s expense if he isn’t behind the wheel.

And soon enough they’re handing their keys over to Mrs. T as she tearily hugs Liam and Louis, wishing them well and telling them that they’d been wonderful tenants and like her grandsons. They get into Liam’s ancient Passat, their security deposit and the prorated portion of their last month’s rent in hand. Louis won’t lie and say that it doesn’t feel good to have this thirteen hundred dollars in his pocket and to be outside in the June sunshine. As Liam pulls away from the curb, the last of their boxes filling up the backseat, Louis leans out of the passenger window and lets the wind brush back his hair and the sun beat down on his face. He embraces the sensation of the warmth and light he feels, and if that isn’t a sign that Liam and Zayn were right about this road trip and upcoming two months, he doesn’t know what is.

 


	2. On The Road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis, Liam and Zayn hit the road.

**CHAPTER TWO –**

Until today, Louis Tomlinson had never been on a road trip. 

Which he hasn’t really thought about until today and which is completely shocking considering that he grew up the oldest child of seven, and family road trips seem like something that would be tailor-made for his family. But he figures that there never seemed to be enough money or enough room in any one of their well-used cars for his family to take one, so they hadn’t.

Now, sitting in the back seat of Liam’s uncle’s convertible, he sort of wishes that statement were still true. He doesn’t know what he expected once Liam and Zayn had fully thrown themselves into the planning of this road trip, but so far, this isn’t it.

When Louis had finally agreed to go on the trip that Liam and Zayn were so excited about, he envisioned sitting shotgun in a beautiful, shiny red, old car; loud music, windows down, hair blowing, fast food packaging littering the floor, passing a joint back and forth between Zayn in the backseat, teasing Liam mercilessly. A laddy bro version of “Crossroads” if you will. He is the Zoe Saldana character, thank you very much.

He did  _ not _  envision being sat in the backseat, staring at the back of Zayn's head. Getting more uncomfortable as the silence between the three best friends grew. Zayn and Liam either too scared to start a conversation with just themselves, afraid that their mutual lust for each other would tumble out of their mouths in embarrassing words; or they were treating Louis with kid gloves afraid to bring up any topic of conversation, lest it lead to Louis thinking about Rick and getting even more depressed than he already was. What he doesn’t understand is where all of the enthusiasm that Zayn and Liam had has gone? Where is the giddy antsyness that the two of them had been displaying for the past week? Louis was just starting to get on board with their excitement but now all of the joy and promise of adventure seems to be deflating and he knows he can’t be counted on to do anything about stopping it.  

When Louis looks in the rearview mirror, he meets Liam's gaze. His eyes are filled with concern and pity for Louis and Louis hates to see it. Louis quickly drops his gaze to his feet which he’d shoved into flip-flops at the last minute as they left that morning. He can’t remember if he’s actually packed any other shoes besides his old, comfortable pair of Adidas sneakers which have seen better days. Oh well, there are bound to be stores along this 3,500 mile route where he can buy some if need be.

The road trip had started with Louis’ mom dropping him off at Liam’s uncle’s house in Worcester at the crack of ass in the morning. Louis is still confused as to why they had to begin this fateful road trip so freaking early, but since he’s not driving he supposes he doesn’t have much say in the matter. 

After getting instructions on everything to do with the car, from the windshield wipers to the type of gas they’d need to put in it, Liam’s Uncle Jack had warily, it seemed, handed over the car keys and Louis and Liam had gotten in with Liam easing out of the driveway and heading towards Sturbridge to pick up Zayn from his parent’s house.

Zayn continues to stare solemnly out the front passenger window, which is what he’s been doing for the last three hours since he got in the car. Louis usually can count on a helpful and bolstering smile from Zayn, but there’s no comfort there today. Louis realizes he’s going to have to do something about his two best friends and their unspoken and mutual love for each other. They aren’t going to survive the next 8 weeks if this tension isn’t erased immediately.

Louis wants nothing more than to reach out between the two front seats and grab both Zayn and Liam’s hands and slam their palms together saying – There! You two love each other! You’ve been in love with each other for years! Snap the fuck out of it and stop torturing yourselves and everyone around you, especially me! – but he’s not an asshole –– despite what Rick says –– and he’s going to let them figure it out.

**Day 1: Crossing state lines/New York State**

By the late afternoon they’re almost out of Massachusetts and heading into New York. They've all been relatively quiet for the past couple of hours as Liam navigates along the interstate. At the last rest stop Zayn made Louis switch places with him, so now Louis rides shotgun. Louis had expected the inside of the old convertible to be a lot more plush than it is but, although not exactly the most comfortable place in the world, it's big and he can stretch out, even in the passenger seat. And that, at least, is a bonus.

As they travel through tiny Oneida, NY they see a sign for “The Tiniest Church in the World” and they know that they have to stop. It’s a teeny tiny white church with a steeple floating in the middle of a small lake. It looks like a doll’s house and reminds Louis a little of the playhouse that his young sisters, Daisy and Phoebe, have in the backyard of the family home. Zayn isn’t enthused at all and stays in the car as Liam and Louis check out the church. They’re back in the car and back on their way within 20 minutes.

At the beginning of the trip Louis was tired and languid, zoning out for a lot of the drive. Now he’s fidgety, fiddling with the various controls of the car; cracking open the windows, flipping on the radio and tuning it to the first station he finds, then switching to another station almost immediately.

"Do you have any idea where we're going now? When are we going to stop for the day? Where are we sleeping?" Louis asks Liam. Louis turns towards the back seat to get Zayn involved in the conversation as well, but he’s doing his best to remain unamused –– all crossed arms and grumbles and glares masked by his sunglasses. Louis sighs and turns again towards Liam.

"I absolutely know where we’re going." Liam says cheerfully.

"Of course he doesn’t know where we’re heading," Zayn answers at the same time as he stares out of the window.

"Oh, lighten up, both of you!" Liam exclaims as he pulls his own sunglasses out of the sun visor and puts them on. "It's an adventure! It’s our Best Friends Forever road trip of discovery, where we find ourselves on the longest Interstate in America!; living out our last couple of months of freedom before we have to face the “real world”. And I’ll have you know, our next stop is the Jell-O museum in Le Roy, NY.” 

"Aren’t we a bit too old for all of that?" Zayn asks, sounding bored.

"Why? It's never too late for self-discovery and Jell-O!"

Louis rolls his eyes at both of his friends, a gesture lost on both of them, and settles himself into the seat, propping his feet up on the dashboard. He hopes for the thousandth time that Liam and Zayn will get their shit together soon and figure that they both love each other and want to have a million babies together.

___

**Day 2: Traveling through Ohio**

After a very full day and over 11 hours of driving for Liam on the first day, the three friends had found a small motel just over the Ohio border and had promptly passed out. They all agree the next morning that they’re not in a race to get anywhere and that this second day they should take it easy and only drive a few hours before finding a place to stay. They find a cheap, but clean, motel near the Indiana border and take time to plan their next few days. They figure that after hanging in Chicago for a couple of days, they’re definitely going to have to switch to staying in campsites for at least the rest of the week in order to save money.

 

**Day 3: About 40 minutes outside of Chicago**

Liam is singing along to Donna Summer on the radio, and Louis is slowly going insane. Zayn has fallen asleep so he’s no help. They’ve only been on the road for a few hours today, and he's already ready to strangle Liam. It usually takes most of the day before Louis feels like throttling either one of his friends.

Louis reaches over and flips off the radio. Without missing a beat, Liam turns it back on and continues singing. Louis narrows his eyes and turns it off again.

"Do you have a problem with my singing?" Liam asks, voice tinged with amusement and a little annoyance.

"Yes."

"My singing or the choice of music?"

“YES.”

“Geez why are you so damn crabby today?” Liam frowns and turns the radio back on, but he fiddles around with it until he manages to find a station promising a lineup of David Bowie, Led Zeppelin, and The Rolling Stones in the next half hour. Louis figures that this station is better than the all disco all the time one they were listening to before, so he shuts his mouth and doesn’t comment or move to turn the radio off again.

A little while later, as they drive through the city of Chicago, looking for a cool place to stop in Wicker Park to grab a beer, Louis and Liam are singing along very loudly to “Bohemian Rhapsody” with the volume on full blast and all of the windows rolled down. Zayn is cackling in the backseat holding his stomach because he’s laughing so hard. Liam is crooning along to, "Mama, oooh, I don't wanna die. I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all," and Louis is now laughing himself to tears at his overly dramatic impression. Zayn then breaks into an amazing air guitar rendition of the solo that has Louis and Liam smiling so hard that their eyes are reduced to little crinkly slits.

As the music changes, Louis turns to Zayn with wide eyes and a serious expression and sings: "I see a little silhouetto of a man," to which Liam adds: "Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango?"

All three friends join voices for, "thunderbolt and lightning, very very frightening me," that they bellow out in deep tones. Zayn then takes the falsetto "Galileo" and Liam takes the angry one, and Louis just continues to smile and feels his heart clench a little with how much love he feels for his two best friends and how much he’s going to miss them when they go their separate ways in September.

Louis joins back in with his friends, a huge smile on his face, to sing about how he's a poor boy and nobody loves him, and he realizes that he’s actually happy for the first time in months and that there’s absolutely no place else he’d rather be.

 

**A couple of days later: somewhere in Iowa**

"I spy with my little eye... something white." Louis turns toward Liam and smiles smugly.

"The billboard."

"... How are you so damn good at this?" Louis asks incredulously. They’ve been playing this dumb game for hours and Liam hasn’t missed one thing. 

"You’re very predictable." 

"I AM NOT." Louis pouts.

"Yes, you are."

"Fuck you. It's your turn, Mr. I-Think-I'm-So-Great."

"I spy a giant asshole." Liam says with a sarcastic narrowing of his eyes that he focuses on Louis.

Zayn suddenly leans forward between the two front seats. "But Liam, Louis’ wearing shorts! You can't choose things that you can't actually see- ow! Shit! What the hell was that for, Louis? I’m just trying to lighten the mood!"

"You’re not even playing, asshole."

"Whatever.” Zayn rolls his eyes as he sits back against the backseat and then picks his Kindle back up to resume reading.

 

**Day 6: Somewhere…**

“That's dirt, Louis. There's no highway through here. Dotted line means dirt.” Liam points desperately towards the paper map that he has spread on the hood of the car.

“I thought it meant shortcut.” Louis feels himself pout.

“Do you know what E means?” Zayn cuts in. “It means empty, dumbass. Like your head!”

 

“Well, l guess I'm just not the best driver and navigator in THE WORLD, Like Liam.”

“I guess not.” Zayn mutters frustrated. “I can’t believe that Liam gave into your pestering and let you drive, and within two hours you run us out of gas and get us lost!”

“Where are we?!” Liam cries out helplessly, holding both the paper map and his signal-less cellphone up in frustration.

“The ass of nowhere. Without any gas, thanks to this nimrod. But I’m pretty sure we’re in South Dakota somewhere.” Zayn points his thumb and forefinger at Louis like a gun.

“What even is South Dakota? Like seriously. What the hell is in South Dakota?” Louis complains bitterly.

“Mt. Rushmore is in South Dakota. The Badlands are in South Dakota! And I think that’s neat.” Liam offers; good natured as usual. Liam’s sunny disposition always shone through eventually, no matter how angry or stressed he was at first.

“We’re supposed to be heading to the Badlands. We’re camping there tonight. And then tomorrow we’re going to Mt. Rushmore. I’ve always wanted to go at night when the monument is all lit up with strobe lights.”

Zayn ignores Liam’s last comment and jumps up from where he’s been sitting on the car hood. “Listen. We need to walk the mile or so back to the highway, the actual real road not this dirt track, and see if we can flag down some help.” Zayn starts off southeast in the direction they came from.

“What the fuck, Zayn?!” Louis all but squeals. “You can’t just leave us here to die!”

“Stop being so dramatic! If you want to come, come!” Zayn yells back.

Louis and Liam gather their things and run after Zayn to catch up.

Two hours, an expensive taxi ride, and one very uncomfortable hitchhiking venture with an old man who seemed like he might be a serial killer in his ancient 1950s red pickup truck later, the three friends are back on I-90 heading west towards their next planned stop – Badlands National Park.

The plan is to take the afternoon hiking-tour and then set up their tents at one of the camping sites that Liam reserved. It will be their first night camping and Louis is not excited about it at all. But considering it’s his fault that they’re almost three hours behind schedule and out over $100 that they hadn’t planned on spending, he figures that he’s used up about as much good will as his two best friends are going to give him today. So he keeps his complaints about tents and sleeping on the gross, hard, ground to himself, at least for now.

All three guys are in a funk and are silent for the drive to the national park. They perk up as they drive into Interior, South Dakota and enter the Badlands National Park, cruising under the big arched sign. The landscape is gorgeous yet desolate, and everything in the landscape is a beautiful hue of light brown and almost a pinkish gold in the bright afternoon sunlight. Zayn makes an affirmative comment about sketching the colors and digs in his bag for his sketchbook and his oil pastel chalks. Liam smiles for the first time in hours as he greets the park ranger at the gate and hands over their $27 for the campsite fee, and Louis rolls his window all of the way down and leans out, taking a full deep breath and letting it out slowly. Maybe this place isn’t so bad after all.

 


	3. Harry and Niall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Niall come into the picture.

**CHAPTER THREE –** **_Harry and Niall_ **

Harry, Niall and Johnny first met each other as three freshman during a Spring break trip where they were doing a Habitat for Humanity home build on the Quileute Indian Reservation on the Pacific coast in rural Washington State. 

Well, technically Harry and Niall had already sort of known each other for the first half of their first college year; they lived on the same dorm floor and could often be found sharing space in the dorm floor lounge, studying (Harry), eating (Niall), or sometimes even sleeping because they both had roommates with very active sex lives and they were both constantly getting kicked out of their rooms and having to find a different place to carry on with their lives.

But that Spring Break trip was the first time Harry and Niall really talked to each other and after they both met Johnny the three of them bonded almost immediately. They just intrinsically “got” each other. They fit. Where Harry was slightly naïve and always wanting to see the good in people, Johnny was cynical and analytical, and Niall was pragmatic but couldn’t stay mad or hold a grudge for longer than two seconds. All three loved singer-songwriter soft rock from the 1970s like Jackson Browne and the Eagles, and current Alt-rock like LCD Soundsystem and Artic Monkeys but each also introduced the others to music from those genres that they didn’t know, like Poco and Tanlines.

Harry thinks that he probably fell in love with Johnny during those two weeks working, eating, living and laughing together in that rainy and cold place in the rural Pacific Northwest. Harry was just coming to terms with his sexuality; he had only started being honest with himself, his family and friends about being gay the summer before he started at Northwestern. And Johnny was the first person, the first real guy that Harry developed feelings for beyond just a crush. But it all started for Harry on that spring break trip. The runs on the beach in the cloudy and chilly mornings; goofing off and racing each other until their lungs burned. There were trivia contests during the days, as they hammered, painted, and swept up at the build site. There were deep discussions on every topic they could think of, shared over whispers, lasting late into the early morning hours, long after everyone around them in the shared bunk room had gone to sleep.

The three friends had bonded so quickly and so completely and they shared a love so deep for the cliffs at La Push on the Washington coast overlooking the ocean, that they had promised each other, over sips of whiskey to keep warm one blustery night, that they would return to La Push the summer after they graduated from college, to celebrate their achievements.

That was before the easy newness of freshman year melted into the pressure of sophomore and junior years. Before choosing majors, and switching majors; before the indecision and fear trying to decide what they wanted to do with the rest of their lives. That was before all of the term papers, 20 page essays, dissertations, hypotheses and theories, mid-terms and finals. Before the thousands of beer cans and bottles consumed on weekend nights, all of the shared good times and bad. Harry, Johnny, and Niall knew everything about each other’s lives; every ambition, every fear, every secret. Most outsiders thought they were a little weird and too co-dependent, especially Harry and Johnny, but the three friends brushed aside other’s judgement and opinions. What they had was special and it worked.

That was before the cancer.

All through those four years of school, Harry was in love with his best friend Johnny and he had only admitted it to his other best friend Niall. He tried to date and have relationships with the numerous men who seemed to fancy him, but Harry just couldn’t get Johnny out of his head; he ended up comparing every guy he went out with to him, so consequently the dates and relationships that tried to sputter to life never really went anywhere. Sure, he had make-out sessions with guys, and sometimes heated kisses would lead to even more heated touches; hand jobs and one night with Evan Tigard even shared blow jobs, but Harry wasn’t really happy. He wasn’t satisfied with any of the sexual experimentation that he was participating in because it wasn’t with Johnny. Johnny and Harry were joined at the hip; constantly together. They shared everything; shared the air that each other breathed. They lived together in a house with Niall and their other friends, Tom and Bill. Where you found Johnny, Harry was sure to be not very far away.

Harry and Johnny never talked about Harry’s obvious crush. There was an understanding between the two of them, and Harry would argue that what he felt was way deeper than a crush; he was in love with his best friend. And he knew that Johnny knew, but it was obvious to Harry that Johnny didn’t feel the same way and cared too much about their friendship to jeopardize it by bringing the topic up. So Harry carried on carrying a torch for his best friend, and occasionally going out on dates to try and see if he could find someone that would measure up, and failing miserably.

Then cancer came into their lives. First it was Harry’s dad; a bout of prostate cancer but they caught it early and were able to treat it with radiation and surgery and he went into remission. Next it came for Johnny’s beloved father who was everything to him. His mother had left when he was only 7, and he and his dad developed a bond that was stronger than most parent-child bonds. They did everything together and Johnny’s father’s colon cancer diagnosis was beyond devastating. Treatment only bought his dad another full year; but by the time that their junior year started he was gone.

And finally it came for Johnny. A leukemia diagnosis the summer before their senior year began. Turns out Johnny had indeed kept a secret from Harry and Niall; he’d battled leukemia when he was a child and had a bone marrow transplant when he was 8. It had given him a little more than a decade; 10+ years of a good and happy life. But now the cancer was back and this time there wasn’t a hope.

Harry was devastated. Of course Niall was heartbroken as well, but Harry was beside himself with grief. He threw himself into what Niall and Johnny joked was “Project Save Johnny’s White Blood Cells”; spending hours researching experimental treatments and organic macrobiotic diets. Harry spent every minute that he could with Johnny during those last few months of his life. Johnny told Harry that he was lucky that Johnny’s stepmother lived in Chicago because he knew that Harry would’ve completely quit school to be with him and help him through his treatment and hospice.

Harry knew that the only reason he hadn’t given up on graduating from college was that Johnny refused to let him. Johnny figured that if Harry insisted on spending hours a day with him, it was his duty to make sure that those hours were spent productively, and not just Harry sitting forlornly while Johnny struggled to keep down food. In Johnny’s final weeks he emailed Harry’s professors and got him special permissions to miss classes in exchange for doing a few extra papers and working on his final projects with him. Harry’s love for Johnny only grew. And in those last few days with him, Johnny held Harry’s hand and brought it to his mouth to kiss it. He confessed that he loved Harry and he was sorry that he hadn’t told him before but he didn’t want to burden him. He always wanted more for Harry; he wanted Harry to find someone to love who was healthy and truly alive. He wanted him to have the love he deserved. 

Harry did indeed graduate and with honors at that, but he didn’t attend his graduation. It came two months after Johnny had died and he was in the grips of crushing grief. He didn’t feel like he’d earned it. His parents surprisingly understood and instead they took Harry on a trip to the U.K. to visit his mother’s parents and to let Harry grieve. When Harry got back in early June, Niall had the large notebook that the three friends had used to start planning their road trip to Washington State. He said that he and Harry owed it to Johnny to do this; they had to complete this trip and Johnny was going with them. Just not in the form that they had originally planned.

 

Harry has always loved the outdoors. Some of his fondest memories were of the camping trips that he, his sister Gemma, and his parents took when he was a child. He loves being surrounded by nature, in whatever form he finds it; walks and runs through the forest, mountain hikes, and the beach with the ocean breeze blowing through his hair; he loves it all. He loves how calm and solitary he feels, even if he’s surrounded by people. There are always new things to see, new places to explore, new smells; Harry loves that rain smells the same wherever he is, yet also slightly different, depending on the location. He especially likes to explore the great outdoors by running through it. The way the dirt, or clay, or sand feels under his feet as he pounds down onto it; running on his long legs makes him feel powerful and free. 

He’s going to be running a race along the Continental Divide in Montana on the Saturday after the Summer Solstice. It’s a race that Johnny and his father ran back when he 16 before Johnny’s dad’s cancer got too bad, and before his own fateful cancer diagnosis. During one of Harry’s last visits with him in the hospice, Johnny made Harry promise that he’d run in the race and try to beat his time. He said it made him happy to think of Harry running through the woods, with the wind blowing through his hair, trying to beat an invisible clock. It was Harry’s idea to take some of Johnny’s ashes and place them in a small stone vial that he’d take with him on the race in order to leave some of Johnny on that Continental Divide Trail.

Surprisingly, Harry had never got around to taking a long road trip like he and Niall were doing now. Once his parents got divorced, their family camping trips dwindled to few and far between, and once Harry was old enough to take himself places, he never seemed to make it outside of about a 50 mile radius from his home, choosing to explore the rivers, lakes and forest paths in his home state of Connecticut, and once he was at Northwestern he never made it farther than Wisconsin or southern Illinois with his friends. So despite the depressing circumstances that have led Niall and him on this cross-country journey, Harry was feeling happy and excited for the upcoming adventures.

 

They've been on the road less than three hours; they left later than Harry had planned, much to his annoyance. Niall keeps urging him to relax; the world won’t end if they are half an hour behind schedule; a schedule that they purposely left as open as possible. There were only a few dates over the next six weeks where they had to be in a specific place at a specific time.

"You're slowing down?" Harry questions.

"I'm just pulling in here, I want to get coffee and I have to pee," Niall indicates the gas station in wherever they are in Wisconsin.

"But you peed just before we got in the car?! And I packed coffee," Harry states with a frown.

"You packed instant espresso, which isn’t the same as real drip coffee which you know is what I like. And I have a small bladder, sue me! It won't take long, Har." Niall grins, "Besides we're already a little behind on your precious schedule so what’s an additional 15 minutes? And I bet you added extra time in, am I right?"

"For emergencies and traffic jams," Harry almost whines.

"Well I don't think we're going to have any issues with traffic," Niall indicates the deserted section of I-90 W ahead of them. Even with it being a large interstate, it was still deserted on this Sunday afternoon.

"And _ I _ don't think  _ this _ classifies as an emergency," Harry counters, as Niall pulls up next to one of the gas pumps.

"Do you want anything?" Niall asks with a small grin. Harry shakes his head in the negative.

Niall leaves Harry in the car looking down at the large notebook that they’ve kept their road trip schedule in for almost a year. This trip was something that they had talked about doing for so long but had started really planning it with Johnny just two months before he died. It’s been almost three months since his death. Niall and Harry are still close, especially since Niall got engaged to Harry’s sister Gemma last month, but they aren’t back to the way their friendship was before their best friend died. Harry hopes that they’ll get back to that closeness soon. They’re talking at least; that’s more than they’ve done in the last few weeks. 

This trip is for Johnny; they’re fulfilling their promise and taking him back to La Push, WA. This trip is bringing them all together again, even if it’s really only to say goodbye. Harry thinks back to the uncomfortable conversation, really more of a confrontation, with Johnny’s stepmother just a month before when they went to her house to retrieve Johnny’s ashes. Even though Johnny had been very specific in his will as to what he wanted Harry and Niall to do with his ashes, because almost four months had passed Teresa had mistakenly thought that he and Niall would let her keep them.

Harry turns around and looks at the large cardboard box strapped in with a seat belt in the back seat for safe keeping. Inside the box is the purple cloisonné porcelain urn that holds Johnny’s remains. Harry sadly smiles and turns back around in his seat. He looks back down at the notebook with the page turned to the first two days’ itinerary. The plan for this first day is to make it all the way to the South Dakota border. That’s about a 10 hour drive, which split between them won’t be hard at all. Harry wants to camp out the entire trip to Washington but he knows that Niall is going to protest and argue about this with him and he’s just not up for the strife. He hopes that Niall will at least let them camp in the Badlands, and maybe Yellowstone, if they decide to go there.

Niall is back in the car and they’re on their way again within the 15 minutes that he’d promised. They cross the South Dakota border just after 8 o’clock that night and Harry feels the knot that’s been tied tightly around his heart loosening a bit more with every mile that he puts between him and Chicago. 

The next morning they make their way towards the Badlands. They spent their first night in a motel because Niall refused to camp every night. He says he wants a decent shower, a bar, and a mattress to sleep on whenever possible. Niall laughs aloud as he approaches the car after checking out of the motel because Harry is unpacking a few of his things and rearranging the trunk; ready for their first night of camping.

“You're like such a little Boy Scout, Harry! Prepared for anything, aren't you?”

“Are you?” Harry questions as he glances down at Niall’s sneakers.

Niall frowns, “They're comfy and we're doing a lot of driving.”

“But you did bring hiking boots, right?” Harry asks hopefully.

“Erm...I think I chucked a pair of my old Timberlands in the trunk before we left,” he shrugs.

Harry sighs and closes the trunk. He makes his way to the front of the car and gets in the driver's seat. Niall follows and makes himself comfortable in the passenger seat, while hooking up his iPhone to their Bluetooth. “Manhattan” by Kings of Leon starts playing and Niall turns up the volume. Harry pushes his sunglasses down onto his face from where they've been holding back his curls, and puts the car into drive. He thinks today is going to be an okay day.

 

Harry first sees him when they’re on the guided tour looking for fossils through the Badlands. Their group was finishing up while another group was just starting, but both groups were stopped at this large rock that was special for some reason, and the two tour guides were doing some sort of tandem routine where they were telling the (supposedly) fascinating history of the rock. 

Harry sees him out of the corner of his eye at first. A flash of golden skin and a sweet sounding giggle. He turns to inspect who is making this sound and sees a boy about his age, maybe older. The golden-skinned boy is wearing a tank top that dips below his collar bones, exposing cursive writing tattooed on his chest. He has caramel colored hair that keeps falling into his eyes and he brushes his fringe off his forehead with delicate hands. The boy is short and slender but Harry’s eyes follow down his sides and see the way his waist indents and as the boy turns to speak with his friend, Harry notices that his back curves down to one of the cutest and plumpest butts that Harry has ever seen.

The boy catches him staring and Harry blushes. He turns and tries to tune back into what the tour guides are saying but he’s having trouble paying attention as he realizes that what he’s feeling is attraction. It’s been so long since Harry thought a boy was cute or had any reaction to a cute guy that he doesn’t even know what to do with himself. Within another minute the two tour groups are parting ways and Harry only gets one more look at the boy as he and the two men that he’s with animatedly talk about something.

Harry sees the cute boy again a couple of hours later as he and Niall drive along route 240 heading towards their campsite at Sage Creek in the northern part of the national park. The boy and his two friends are at a camping spot in Cedar Pass close to the road and it looks like they’re trying to set up their tents. The boy seems annoyed and is gesturing wildly with his hands and arms, and as Harry rides by he hears the boy’s voice, lovely even in anger, as he screeches out “I only have 3 poles! Why isn’t this working?!” Harry hopes that they work things out before it gets too dark. He’s not sure why he cares so much.

The next day, Harry sees the boy at Mt. Rushmore. At first he doesn’t believe his luck;  two days in a row? In national parks no less? This time the cute boy and his friends are sitting on a blanket in the viewing area watching the beginning of the evening light show at the monument. That’s what Harry and Niall are there to see too, and Harry makes sure to grab seats near the three guys so he can surreptitiously gaze at the boy with the nice skin, and the nice smile, and the nice laugh. Harry’s still fascinated and a little shocked by this sensation, that he has to acknowledge is lust. He feels out of sorts, like he doesn’t know what to do with his limbs. At one point Niall catches him staring at the boy and gives him a sly look, waggling his eyebrows comically. Harry punches his arm in return.

The boy and Harry exchange shy smiles of recognition the next day in Wall Drug, and Harry can’t believe the coincidences. Harry and Niall have just arrived while the boy and his friends? –– Harry hopes neither of the handsome men are the cute boy’s boyfriend –– appear to have been there a while and are just leaving. Harry wistfully looks on as the boy walks toward the exit, but at the last minute the boy turns and waves goodbye to Harry. For the rest of the time in Wall Drug, Harry walks around with a goofy smile on his face, feeling fluttery inside.

Fate seems to be smiling on Harry later that afternoon, after they’ve crossed over into Montana, when he and Niall pull into a parking spot at the Little Bighorn museum, next to an old vintage convertible. As Harry gets out of the driver’s seat, he sees the back door open to the convertible and out steps the cute boy who seems to be seeing the same sights in the Great Plains that he and Niall are. The boy laughs, and if Harry could bottle the sound he would. Harry breaks into a face-splitting smile and his heart skips a beat as the boy walks over to him.

“We’ve got to stop meeting like this. Hi, I’m Louis.” The boy holds out his hand and Harry shakes it enthusiastically.

“I’m Harry. Nice to meet a fellow South Dakota tourism enthusiast.”

The boy, Louis, laughs in his gorgeous way and Harry thinks he might have a new favorite sound.

“Well Harry, shall we go inside and see what poor decisions General Custer made in his life?” Louis smiles and leads him inside the building where their friends are waiting.

Harry feels the last of the knot in his chest break free. He feels lighter than he has in months.

************************************************************************************************

 


	4. Bonding in Montana

**CHAPTER FOUR -** **_Bonding in Montana_ **

Louis just doesn’t know what to make of Harry Edward Styles. Like that fact? There’s no reason that Louis should know Harry’s full name, including his middle name, after just knowing him for a few hours. And yet Harry tells him this while he’s recounting a rambling story about some professor he and Niall had at Northwestern. All five guys are having dinner at a diner that they found near the Custer museum. As soon as Louis and Harry entered the museum together earlier that day, the five of them have pretty much been hanging out as a unit. They’re finding they all have a ton in common. They’ve been comparing notes on their similar travels so far. Liam laments that they didn’t know Harry and Niall when they were staying in Chicago the week before; he’s sure they would’ve been able to take them out to cooler places than they went to.

Louis finds himself staring at Harry again. He can’t help himself; he’s just so gorgeous. But in a rather goofy way, Louis thinks. His hair for one thing; it’s sort of ridiculous. Harry’s hair is neither short nor long; just a massive riot of unruly curls and waves that he usually keeps off his face with sunglasses pushed up on top of his head. It’s in that in-between stage where it can’t decide what it wants to do. Louis thinks that on anybody else, Harry’s hair would look awkward and unfortunate, but on Harry it works. Louis just wants to run his fingers through it, and he admonishes himself because that’s not the type of thought he should have for someone that he just met that afternoon. He can’t believe the coincidence of meeting Harry after seeing him today at Wall Drug. And that it’s the same cute guy that he first noticed while standing in a boring tour group in the Badlands. How could he not have noticed Harry? The boy had on two pairs of sunglasses; one on his face and another holding his hair back. Who does that? And more importantly how did he make it look so adorable and sort of stylish? Louis can’t deny it - he’s smitten. And as he looks around the booth that they’re sharing at this diner, his two best friends laughing and talking with these two new friends, he feels excitement for what could come on this trip.

The five new friends decide to camp together that night at a site nearby that Niall and Harry already have a reservation at. They’re preparing to leave the parking lot of the diner to head there when suddenly a loud roar of thunder sounds, startling the group. The evening sky has turned an ominous gray and only a couple of seconds pass before a streak of lightning strikes, lighting up the sky and setting off several car alarms around them.

They share concerned looks with one another and Liam voices the concern that’s showing on everyone’s face. “Guys? I think we better get a move on before this storm starts.”

They all pile into the two cars and Liam follows Niall back onto the highway. Within minutes the sky above has turned a dark charcoal and thunder and lightning continue to barrel down. The idea of camping out tonight seems ludicrous to Louis and he says so.

“Li, we can’t possibly camp in this weather! I know you  _ want to experience the great outdoors _ and save money and all that, but this is stupid.”

“Oh Lou, it’ll be fine. This is just a lightning storm; they have them all the time in the Great Plains. We’ll be fine. It’s an adven…”, Liam is interrupted by Zayn.

“Liam, lightning storms aren’t usually accompanied by thunder. And the sky is too dark. I think it’s going to rain, and rain hard. I’m with Louis, I think camping’s out. Let me just text Niall and tell…”

Zayn doesn’t even get to finish his sentence before sheets of rain start falling from the sky, almost completing obscuring the view through the front windshield. Liam turns the windshield wipers on to full speed, but the old convertible’s wipers, while new, still can’t stand up to the force of the driving rain. Louis immediately texts Harry and tells him that they’re pulling over to the side of the road. He says as much to Liam, who puts his signal on and pulls over onto the shoulder of the highway. They can barely see out of the windows but they can tell that Niall has also pulled over just a few yards ahead of them.

Harry texts back:  **_should we just wait out the storm here for a bit?_ **

L:  **_guess so? I don’t know how long that’ll be tho_ **

H:  **_yeah...seems like we might have to rethink camping out tonight_ **

L:  **_That’s what I told Liam!_ **

H:  **_Niall says there’s a Best Western off the next exit a mile up. Let’s grab a couple of rooms there for the night_ **

L:  **_K I’ll tell Liam and Z_ **

Louis tell his friends the plan and Liam starts the car up and slowly pulls back onto the highway following Niall. They can hardly see anything and Liam agrees that getting off the highway is definitely the best idea. Within ten minutes they’re pulling into the large, welcoming, and very full parking lot of the Best Western hotel. The two cars have to park way at the far end of the lot and all five guys run through the pouring rain and skid into the lobby looking like drowned kittens. Soaked to the bone, they approach the front desk and Liam steps forward.

“Hi. We don’t have reservations, but we’re hoping to get two rooms just for tonight?” Liam asks, hopefully.

“I’m sorry sir”, the concierge tell him, “we’re completely booked. There’s a convention here for the week, and any additional available rooms got snatched up by other travelers like yourself that are trying to wait out the storm.”

“Oh.” Liam turns to his friends and shrugs. “I guess we’ll have to try someplace else, guys.”

“Good luck.”, the concierge continues, “From what I’ve heard, every hotel and motel between here and Butte is full.”

On that encouraging note the guys run back through the rain to their cars and head back out on I-90 W. They form a plan to basically take every exit and see if they can find any place to sleep. After almost two hours, and three screaming matches among the two car loads later, they’ve given up all hope, and have resigned themselves to having to sleep in their cars, when they take the exit for the small town of Wyola, Montana.

As they make their way through the tiny town in the pouring rain, they don’t see anything around but what looks like deserted farmland with abandoned tin shacks. Nothing looks promising, and Louis is just about to voice this fact when Liam suddenly hoots with excitement.

“Look! Up there! Ahead there, does that look like a motel sign?”

Louis squints and is just about to say that he doesn’t see anything when he gets a text from Harry.  **_we think that motel is open!!!!!!_ **

The two cars pull into the small lot of what looks like an old and decrepit motel from the 1940s or 50s. There’s only one other car in the lot which seems both encouraging and discouraging at the same time. There’s a faint light from a single, small lamp in the smoked glass window of what appears to be the check-in office. The sky is still dumping buckets of rain down as the five make their way onto the tiny porch entry and knock, before Niall tries the door handle, and pushes it open. They step inside the musty room which resembles nothing like a motel lobby and more like a taxidermist’s office, what with the mounted heads of various animals hung up on the walls surrounding them. Zayn nudges Louis and points up at a particularly gruesome wolf who has been captured with his mouth in a permanent roar, its teeth shiny and dangerous looking even in this dim light. Zayn’s eyes go wide and he mouths to Louis, “scary”.

Niall has just called out “Hello?” for the third time when a curtain on their left parts and a menacing looking man with long, straight, black hair parted in the middle steps out from a back room. He doesn’t look happy to see them.

“Yeah? Whaddya want?” The man practically scowls as he pushes up the sleeves of his plaid flannel shirt exposing strong, weathered arms that look like they could bring down any man. 

Harry steps forward, ready to use his endless charm on the man. “Er, good evening sir, we’re looking to get two rooms for the night to get out of the storm. Do you have any vacancies?”

The man stares menacingly and silently at them for so long that Harry starts to wonder if he even spoke at all. He feels like his smile is frozen on his face and he’s not sure what to do. Louis saves him by moving between Harry and Niall and placing his hands on the counter, before speaking up.

“There’s only one car parked outside? And there seems to be at least 6 rooms here, so can we have a couple or not?” Louis narrows his eyes in response to the venomous look the man gives him.

“I don’t got any rooms open. Especially for your kind.” The man crosses his arms and nods his head towards the door as if telling them to get lost.

“Our kind?!”, Liam steps forward looking ready to fight, his hands balling up into fists. “What’s that supposed to mean? Because we’re gay?!”

The whole room startles to silence and everyone looks at Liam in shock. Louis whips his head around to stare at Liam in astonishment, noticing Zayn’s stunned face just behind Liam where his mouth has fallen open in an ‘O’. Did Louis hear correctly? Did Liam just confirm that he was gay? Liam’s statement had almost made Louis forget about the man behind the counter until he speaks.

“What in damnation?! I don’t care how light your loafers are, but you’re on the Res. We don’t cater to folks that ain’t Crow. So you all best be leaving now.”

This time it’s Zayn that steps forward to the counter to address the man. “Sir, we know that we’re sort of intruding or whatever but, the storm is crazy out there and we’ve been driving around for over two hours trying to find a place to sleep tonight; we’re low on gas and we’re tired and need to regroup. If you could bend your rules just for tonight, we’ll promise to be out of your hair, first thing in the morning.” All five guys practically hold their breath waiting to see if the man will accept this reasonable offer. 

He gives Zayn a stern nod and says, “Yeah, okay. But I’m only giving you one room, and you better be outta here before 8am.”, he points his finger at each one of them as if eliciting a promise. The guys nod their heads as one. “Alright. That’ll be $65.00.  _ CASH _ only, please.” The man narrows his eyes again at the group.

The guys quickly get out their wallets and pool together enough cash to hand over to the man. He takes the bills and folds them neatly before putting them in the pocket of his flannel shirt. He grabs an old brass key off of a hanging board on the wall and motions the boys to follow him. They step outside and make their way across the short expanse of the parking lot towards a door marked with a number ‘6’ that’s been painted on it. The stoic man walks through the downpour without any acknowledgement of the rain; he could be walking through a sunny field of wildflowers, from all that you can tell on his face. He opens the room up and flips on the light switch just inside the door, and the guys see a medium-sized room with two queen beds crammed into it, with a small table and chair with a lamp next to the door and a small television on one wall. The room smells musty and looks like it hasn’t been used  _ or dusted _ in years, and Louis is just about to make a crack about the god-awful floral comforters on the beds when all of a sudden there’s another crack of lightning in the air and the lights and everything else  in the room goes off.

“Well, this is it. There’s only enough hot water tonight for probably one of you to have a shower, if that’s something you’re looking to do. Remember, I want you folks on the road and out of here before 8. Goodnight.” And with that, the man hands Niall the key and turns around and walks back through the rain towards the main building, not even commenting on the fact that the power just went out.

The five friends just stand in the doorway of the motel room stupefied into silence until Liam takes his phone out and puts the flashlight mode on. The other boys follow suit, and decide that they’ll just grab toothbrushes and a change of underwear and not worry about anything else for the night. They’re all in the room and settled within a half hour, with Liam, Louis, and Zayn sharing one of the beds, and Niall and Harry sharing the other. Liam’s is the only phone with enough battery to set the alarm for the morning, knowing that they definitely have to be up and out of there just after 7 or risk the wrath of  “scary Crow”, which is what Zayn insists on calling him. The five friends are fast asleep before an hour has even passed.

***********************************************************************************************

Bright and early the next morning, the five friends are up and reasonably awake as they make their way out of the parking lot of what they now see on the entrance sign is called the Apsaalooke Motel and Apartments. “Apartments?”, Louis remarks as he gets into the car. He shudders to think of people living in this place. He’s quite sure he caught some sort of Lyme Disease or at least inhaled enough mold to kill him later. ‘Scary Crow’ steps out from the office and waves to them (menacingly, of course) as they make their way back onto the road that will take them back to the highway. The rain has stopped and the day is sunny and bright. Yesterday the guys had decided to head to Billings to go to the Pictograph Cave and to make the hike to climb Rimrocks. As Louis rests his head against the passenger seat window he’s knows that he’s too tired to do any sort of hiking. If the others insist on going, he’ll make Zayn stay back with him at the cars, and he can draw in his sketchbook as Louis sleeps in the backseat or under a shady tree.

They make it an early night, finding a great campsite at the base of the Rimrocks, and eat an early dinner of fast food take out. They have their tents set up ––well, Louis makes Liam set his up –– and they’re all zipped in and asleep before the sun has fully set.

The next day dawns pleasant and clear, with almost no clouds in the sky. They only have a short couple of hours drive to Bozeman where they plan on going rafting on the Gallatin River and stopping by something called the American Computer Museum, which Liam and Niall seem very excited about, and which only makes Louis roll his eyes about a hundred times. 

The whitewater rafting on the river is some of the most fun Louis thinks he’s ever had, and even Zayn, who hates the water, loves the experience. The five friends share more laughs and stories that day than they have since they met, and by the time they make camp at a site near the Palisade Falls that evening, they all feel like they’ve made permanent friendship bonds that will last long past the summer. After a delicious steak dinner that Harry cooks on a dinky camp stove, but still manages to make taste gourmet, Niall, Liam, and Zayn sit around the small campfire that Niall built and toast marshmallows. Louis steps out of the tent that he, Liam, AND Zayn will all be sharing that night because somehow not only his, but Zayn’s tent as well, both developed tears in them and it was too late to buy new ones in downtown Bozeman. He looks over at the fire and doesn’t see Harry, and then turns towards the river and sees him lying on the grass.

Louis retrieves his phone from the picnic table and plops down next to Harry, whose face is raised to the evening sky. Harry points towards the stars that seem to be popping into existence by the second.

“Do you know any?”

“Hmm?” Louis asks, distracted by Harry’s sharp jawline.

“Constellations. Do you know any?”

“Oh. Ummm... Orion?” Louis offers, as he fully lays himself down next to Harry. “I think my mom showed me how to find The Southern Cross once? That’s about it, really.”

Harry breaks into a small smile, waving his hand to the sky above them.

“Well, that’s Andromeda. She’s a princess. Her parents chained her to a rock as a sacrifice to Cetus, a sea monster; but then she was rescued at the last minute by Perseus. He used the severed head of Medusa to turn Cetus into stone.”

Louis is mesmerized by Harry’s deep, languid voice, smooth as molasses. “Wait, where?”

Harry gently takes hold of Louis’ wrist and raises it upwards, tracing his hand over to point out the stars in question.

“And that kind of square over there, next to Andromeda? That’s Pegasus. The winged horse. When Perseus cut off Medusa’s head the blood fell into the sea and Pegasus was born.” He guides their hands across the sky.

 Louis scrunches his nose. “That’s kind of gross. Being born out of blood?”

“Well, aren’t we all sort of born that way?” Harry surmises.

“Hmm…I guess you’re right. Okay Styles, you got me. How do you know this stuff?”

Harry shrugs. “Dunno, really, it was sort of a hobby of mine when I was a kid. My Dad bought me a bunch of books and a small telescope when I was about 8. And in college my friend Johnny was really into astronomy, and he taught me how to find a few more constellations.” He clears his throat. “I always thought it was so cool that you can navigate by them.”

“I guess. If you lived in ancient times. But my dear Harry, you see there’s this thing called Google Maps now, you should check it out.”

Harry lets out a honking laugh that would be super unattractive coming out of any other person’s mouth but his. “Oh shut up, Lou.” 

Louis looks at the starry night sky again. “I wish I could remember exactly where Orion is.” 

“It’s too early in the year.” He points to the section of sky where the hunter would be. “It’s clearest during the fall and winter.”

“Once again, impressing me with all of your smarts,” Louis smiles.

“Eh, that was something else that Johnny taught me; which times during the year are the best to see certain constellations and planets.” Harry grows quiet for a moment.

“I think I heard Niall mention Johnny yesterday. He said something about this trip west you’re making, being for him?” Louis doesn’t want to pry, but he’s also curious about this friend of Harry’s that make his eyes sad.

“Johnny is my best friend...was my best friend. He passed away in March.”

“Oh Harry. I’m so sorry you lost your friend. Was his death sudden?” Louis feels awful asking.

“He died from leukemia. So we knew what the fallout would be, but it still happened so fast. I didn’t have enough time to prepare; I probably never would’ve had enough time.” Harry stretches his arms towards the sky. “Anyway yeah, Niall, Johnny and I made plans to go to the Washington coast after graduation, and Niall and I are keeping that promise. We have Johnny’s ashes with us; he asked us to empty them into the ocean.” Harry turns his head towards Louis, “This is too morbid to talk about, isn’t it?”

“Not to me. I’m glad you told me. Thank you.” Louis reaches over and squeezes Harry’s shoulder and then they both lie in silence for a while, looking up at the stars.

 “This is nice, lying here like this and hanging out, don’t you think?” Harry turns his head back towards him and Louis feels his breath catch in his throat. Harry is just so beautiful.

“It’s more than nice,” Louis responds with a small smile, “it’s beautiful.” And he honestly couldn’t say if he’s talking about the stars or the enigmatic boy lying on the ground next to him.

*************************************************************************************************

**Thursday, June 22**

Harry plops down on the grass next to where Louis is sitting on a towel he took from the campsite showers. He plants his hands behind him and stretches his neck, throwing his head back with his face soaking in the morning sun.

“Hey Styles, you end up getting any sleep at all?” Louis asks around a yawn.

“About 4 hours I guess. It doesn’t feel like enough.”

“Yeah, I got about three. And besides that damn owl that kept on hooting through the night, I also had to sleep between Liam and Zayn and you could feel the tension between them like a live wire. I swear, if they don’t quit acting stupid and just hook up already, I’m going to kill myself to take me outta my misery before we even get to Washington.”

“Don’t say that Lou. You killing yourself would really put a damper on this trip, and I was just starting to enjoy myself.” Harry’s smile lights up his face, his left dimple creating a crater in his cheek. Louis has to hold himself back from poking it with his finger.

“It’s going to be fun doing this road trip together, all five of us. Do you guys have any specific plans for the rest of the trip? I mean, before we get to the coast? Liam, Zayn, and I have pretty much already run through the small list of places that we wanted to see.” Louis turns his head towards Harry and is stunned again by how beautiful he is; the sun is backlighting his hair and he looks angelic.

“Not really. The only place I definitely need to go is actually not too far from here outside of Butte.”

“The Continental Divide? Because Zayn has been talking nonstop about going there for the last couple of days.”

“Yeah. Well, I’m actually going to run in a race in the National Forest there?”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, it’s this 14K race that goes between the two passes there. It’s something that our friend Johnny had done with his dad years ago, and I kind of promised him that I’d run the race and try to beat his time.”, Harry pauses and hesitates before continuing, “And I kind of made another...never mind, it doesn’t matter.” Harry shakes his head and goes silent, with a crestfallen look on his face.

Louis isn’t sure what to say but feels a need to comfort Harry somehow. He opts for asking questions he doesn’t really want the answers to. “So is this race on a road? Or are you like going to be running through the woods or whatnot?”

“You run along the trail. It’s the only part of the Continental Divide Trail that has a real maintained path? So yeah, I guess you could say that I’ll be running through the woods.”

“It’s just unpaved dirt? With like rocks and branches and shit scattered about just waiting to trip you?” Louis can’t contain his shock or slight worry. He’s seen Harry trip over his own feet like three times and he’s only really known him for the past 72 hours.

“I mean, I suppose? But this is an organized race with hundreds of participants; I’m sure they’ll clear the trail of debris that might trip us.” The positive tone in Harry’s voice didn’t match the worried frown that was forming between his eyebrows.

“So you’re doing this on your own? Niall isn’t running it with you?”

“Nope, just me. I mean, Niall was supposed to run it with me, he registered and everything but I know he only did that so I wouldn’t back out. And now he’s saying that he’s not in good enough shape to run on Saturday morning. So no one’s actually going to run the race with me.”

For some reason this makes Louis a little sad, imagining Harry running up the side of this mountain pass, all alone, trying to keep a promise to his dead friend. Before he even knew he was saying it out loud,  Louis stammers out, “I’ll run it with you.”

“Wh wha..Huh? You will?!” Harry practically stutters.

“Yeah, I’ll do it. I mean, 14 kilometers…how many miles is that? Eight? I used to run about six on a daily basis, what’s a couple more? And I’m sure I can just take Niall’s race entry, right? The officials or whoever would let me run in his place wouldn’t they?” Louis tries to keep a positive, light-hearted tone to his voice but it’s hard when Harry’s face looks so shocked and full of concern.

“But Louis it’s not just like a regular run along a paved sidewalk or track. This is trail running? And like up a really steep hill?”

“Are you saying that I won’t be able to keep up with you? That I won’t be able to do it?” Louis narrows his eyes and feels his mouth turning down into a hard line.

“No no…of course that’s not what I mean. I just don’t want you getting the wrong idea of what the race is. And it’s 8.7 miles, by the way.” Harry graces Louis with a smile then, and Louis finds it impossible to stay mad at this beautiful boy when he’s throwing those dimples in his face.

“Okay, it’s settled then. You and I are doing this thing!” Louis holds out his hand to shake Harry’s, immediately regretting it as Harry just stares at it for a few uncomfortable seconds before taking it between both of his large hands and squeezing it for what feels like longer, but is only a couple of seconds. Louis relishes the warmth he feels, almost like an electric charge running from Harry’s hands to his.

“But Louis you’re not running in those!” Harry points down at the battered Vans Louis is wearing.

“Oh sure, yeah. No problem. I’ve got good running shoes with me.” Louis tells the lie smoothly and he guesses convincingly because Harry just smiles at him again and stands up, brushing the grass and dirt from his bottom and thighs. Louis figures that Harry doesn’t need to know that his “good running shoes” are his 10 year old Adidas tennis shoes that practically have holes in the bottom of the soles. 

“Great. Well I’m going to see if Niall needs help with loading the car. You should tell Zayn and Liam the plan for driving to Butte and about the race.” 

 

 


	5. The Race

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Wulfman CD 14K Running Race along the Continental Divide.

**CHAPTER FIVE - The Race**

**Saturday, June 24**

At just after seven in the morning, the five of them all pile into the convertible and make their way to Homestake Pass which is where the race will end, but also where the parking and onlooker areas are and the busses that will take the racers to the start of the race 30 minutes south.

Zayn and Niall are practically comatose; both wearing sunglasses even though the morning is overcast and grey. Even early riser Liam keeps hiding yawns behind his hands as he silently drives them. Surprisingly non-morning person Louis feels awake and excited about what he’s about to do. He and Harry are the only ones talking; both crammed in the back seat with Niall practically laying across both of their laps, falling back to sleep. Liam doesn’t have the radio on but it’s okay because Harry keeps a constant stream of chatter going that makes Louis smile. Harry’s enthusiasm is infectious.

“So Lou, there’s only about 250 people running today. I can’t remember why they limit the number but that’s why it was so important that we got your name registered in place of Niall’s. “ Louis just smiles and nods and Harry continues on.

“Runners start one at a time in 10 second increments. Your starting time is based on your own predicted finishing time, but you didn’t have a chance to do that so you’re using Niall’s time. They give out an award to the person who finishes the closest to their predicted time. Hey Niall? What finish time did you predict when you originally registered?”, Harry stops mid-sentence and pokes Niall in the ribs. Niall complains with a grunt but keeps his eyes closed when he replies.

“I dunno. Don’t remember.”

Harry sighs and rolls his eyes towards Louis shaking his head before continuing telling Louis more information about the race.

“The first runner starts at 9:00:00 AM. Then the next runner starts 10 seconds after them and so on. In odd numbered years like this year the course race runs South to North from Pipestone Pass to Homestake Pass, through the Beaverhead-Deerlodge National Forest.”

“Why am I driving to Homestake Pass then if the race ends there?” Liam interjects.

Before Harry has a chance to respond Zayn sits up from where he has been resting his head against the passenger window and puts a comforting hand on Liam’s arm.

“Homestake is where the parking lots are, Li. There’ll be busses to take Harry and Louis to the start of the race from there. We’ll hang out at the finish line and cheer for them as they cross.” Liam smiles at Zayn and thanks him, and Zayn returns a smile just as sweet. Louis and Harry share a look between them but don’t say anything.

“How’d you know that Zayn?” Liam asks, as if Zayn just provided him with the answer to eternal life. Louis kind of wants to gag, they’re so cute.

“I looked the information up last night.” Zayn simply states, settling back down into the seat and putting his sunglasses back down over his eyes from where they’d been resting on top of his head.

Louis rolls his eyes again and turns back to Harry. “Tell me more about this prize thing, Harry.”

 

Once they get to the parking lot, Liam lets Harry and Louis out of the car near the check-in desk and goes to look for a parking space. Louis and Harry’s three-man cheering squad all give them hugs and wish them good luck as they get out and make their way to the long line of people signing in and getting their race number and bus assignments.

As they make their way closer to the front of the line Louis feels more and more nervous, biting his cuticles and rubbing his hands up and down his arms. He’s cold and wishes that he’d worn a long-sleeved t-shirt, but he supposes that he’ll warm up soon enough once they start running. He’s torn out of his thoughts by Harry gasping beside him.

“Louis! Those things are your ‘good running shoes’?!” Harry points to the much loved and much worn out sneakers on Louis’ feet.

Louis looks down at the bright green suede tennis shoes that have seen better days but that he’s treasured for years; his sockless feet fitting them perfectly. He wiggles his toes inside the shoes and looks up at Harry sheepishly. “Yep.” Popping the ‘p’ at the end of the word.

“Your poor feet! Oh dear god, you’re going to be in a lot of pain tonight, Lou.” Harry grimaces but still can’t seem to keep the fond from creeping onto his face as he gives Louis a small smile.

“I’ll be okay Harry. I swear.” Louis crosses his heart with his fingers which makes Harry laugh. Louis decides that Harry’s laugh is definitely one of his all-time favorite sounds.

Harry’s next in line and approaches the sign-in table. The race volunteer helping him hands him a bib with a number on it and a commemorative t-shirt because he was an early registrar for the race. The volunteer at the next desk calls over Louis and has him initial and sign a couple of forms and gives him his bib with his race number on it that appears to be a time rather than a regular number. He’s also handed a small sheet of paper that has the same time written on it – 9:34:40 – which he supposes is his race start time. By the time he makes his way over to where Harry is standing with dozens of other racers, Harry’s already pinned his bib number to the front of his shirt. The bib stretches across his flat, muscled stomach and Louis is momentarily distracted before a tall woman with a megaphone makes her way to the front of the crowd and starts shouting instructions.

“Okay listen up everybody! The first of five busses will be arriving at 7:30 a.m. for immediate boarding. It will depart for Pipestone at 7:45 a.m. sharply! The four remaining busses will depart periodically thereafter. The bus ride to the unloading zone will last approximately 20 minutes, leaving you at least a half hour before you need to be at the starting line. You will be able to identify your bus by its numbered sign 1 through 5 which corresponds to the small number in the left hand corner of the race start time card that you were given at sign in. Please do not attempt to ride an earlier bus because switching busses will cause you to miss your starting time for the race, which is an inconvenience for everyone. If you try to get on an earlier bus you will also occupy a spot that is reserved for someone who is scheduled to start the race before you!  We start this race using a time-trial format to help avoid crowding and bumping on the narrow trail. Each runner has been seeded for a starting time based on your self-predicted finish time. "Hares" go off first and "porcupines" later in order to minimize the need for passing and being passed.”

Louis looks down at the piece of paper with his start time again and sees a small number ‘4’ in the bottom corner. He turns to Harry and realizes that his race start time card says that he’s on bus 2 and it falls into place in Louis’ brain that his start time is 9:06:20, almost a full half hour before Louis starts. They both realize at the same time that they will be separated and won’t be on the same bus and won’t be starting the race or running together. Louis feels anxious; his main reason for running this damn thing was to support Harry and now he won’t even be running with him?

“I’m sorry Louis. I didn’t know that Niall submitted such a slow time. I’m sorry we won’t be together.” Harry looks almost just as crestfallen as Louis feels.

Louis feels actual tears start to prick behind his eyes and quickly tries to smile and wave off Harry’s concern, turning back towards the race volunteer who is still barking out instructions.

“Each of you will get a timing chip provided to you once you’re on the bus. Clip it to your shoelaces. Make sure your race number bib has your correct name on it. You must pin your number bib to a part of your clothing so that it is clearly visible.”

Louis takes that moment to start pinning his race bib to the front of his t-shirt using the safety pins secured in each corner. It’s a struggle for him to pin it on straight because his hands are shaking so much, he supposes from nerves. Harry must notice because before Louis can do anything about it, Harry is standing close in front of him covering his hands trying to pin the bib and saying, “Here, let me.”

Harry’s hands are warm and dry on top of Louis’ cool and clammy ones. He nods his thanks as Harry unpins the two top safety pins, straightens the bib against Louis’ tummy causing Louis’ breath to catch, and reattach the pins so that the bib hangs smooth and straight on the front of his shirt.

“Thanks Harry.” Louis says on an exhale as he tries to get his heartbeats to calm down to an acceptable rhythm. “I guess I’m more nervous than I thought I’d be. They seem really serious here. It’s all a lot more than I expected.”

“I know.” Harry responds as he idly rubs the polished stone stopper to the vial that he’s carrying of Johnny’s ashes. He decides that he can trust Louis with his secret. “Hey Louis?”, Harry turns to Louis and takes a deep breath before continuing, “One of the things I’m doing this race for, besides trying to beat Johnny’s time is that I’m going to uh...I have some of his ashes with me and I’m going to spread them at the highest point on the trail.” Harry looks down at his feet after confessing this. Louis has never wanted to hug and comfort someone so much in his life. He settles for a squeeze to Harry’s shoulder and encouragingly says, “That’s great Harry. That’s a special way to remember your friend.” Harry gives him a closed-lip smile and nods.

As they both turn back to the race volunteer who is still giving instructions and cautions through the megaphone, Harry surprises Louis by reaching down and grabbing his hand. Harry squeezes gently but firmly and at the palm to palm contact, Louis feels his heartbeat steady and he suddenly feels surer and less anxious.

“If, after you start, you find that your seeding has placed you ahead of someone who is ready to pass you, please use good judgment and courtesy to let him or her safely by. We discourage the use of personal music devices because it takes you out of the moment from the beautiful landscape that surrounds you, but if you absolutely must have earphones in listening to something, then please leave one ear open and keep a watchful eye peeled rearward to scan for would-be passers.”

“Finally folks, this race is no joke. There’s a very steep incline for a good portion of the run, and the dirt trail is narrow and unforgiving in parts. The trail follows a relatively uncomplicated route with only a few minor branches, and your way will be clearly marked, but it is still possible to get lost or injured up there. A lot can happen during a 14K through the woods, and we do not want you to be stranded. 

If you find you've gone off trail and want to avoid disqualification, you need to return the spot you left the trail and continue from there. Our National Forest Service reminds us that trail etiquette requires that runners yield to horseback riders. The trail is not closed to other users during our event, so be aware that you may see other trail users on the race course. If you meet horseback riders, you must stop and move off the trail to the downhill side of the trail, in order not to scare the horse and cause potential safety issues.

Be safe and accountable! If you find that you cannot or do not want to finish the race, that’s okay but remove yourself safely. There are a couple of water stations and race volunteers with walkie talkies along the race trail that can help you if you can’t continue. No matter which end of the trail you exit, you must check in with your race number with a race official so that we know that you made it out. Otherwise we will notice that you are missing, and we will form a search party to look for you. Please don’t make us put together a search party to find you! Okay? Okay! Let’s get you on your busses and off to the race!”

Everything moves quickly after the volunteer stops speaking. Louis and Harry are almost immediately separated, their hands pulled apart as they had to make their way to their busses. Louis can still feel the warmth of Harry’s hand tingling through his own and cradles it up to his heart. He can’t say why he’s so emotional about being separated from Harry, this boy he’s only known for a week. Louis just knows that Harry has somehow worked his way into Louis’ cracked opened heart and that the brightness and sweetness that he’s left there is slowly starting to heal Louis. Sitting on his bus surrounded by strangers, all more prepared than he is, Louis feels lost and incredibly small. But then another bus slowly pulls off beside his and as he looks out the window he sees Harry; with his comically wide smile pushed up against his own window and waving his hands like a maniac. Louis immediately smiles and decides that he can do this. He doesn’t even really know what “this” is, but he knows deep down that he can do it and that he has to accomplish it. Louis thinks he understands that this is the first of many steps to “getting up and getting over” as his mom would say, and he feels a sense of gratitude towards Harry and towards this mountain that he’s about to run up, and towards his life in general.

*************************************************************************************************

Harry’s bus comes to a stop and he, and the 30 others with him, exit through the doors where they are then herded into a group as a volunteer approaches them with a whistle that she loudly blows to get their attention.

“Good morning! I’m Tina, Bus 2’s coordinator. Your group are the runners that are starting between 9:05:00AM and 9:10:00AM. We are going to have you line up in race time order and follow me to the starting corrals. I trust that you all can line up in time order yourselves. You’ll have the next five minutes to figure it out.”

Harry knows that his start time is in the middle of the pack, so he moves towards the center of the line that’s forming. He finds the runner starting at 9:06:10 and goes to stand behind her, smiling and nodding his hello as the young woman stretches her hamstrings. Harry takes her cue and begins stretching his legs as well; first starting with the instep of his right foot which always tightens up on runs longer than a couple of miles for some reason. He crosses one foot in front of the other then stretches his hamstrings, finishing with a few lunges and back bends to loosen his hips. By the time he’s finishing up, his line is moving into a sort of turnstile corral, similar to what you’d see in lines at amusement parks for rides. As he inches closer to the front of the start line, Harry thinks about Louis, sweet wonderful Louis, and frowns thinking about the fact that they won’t be together for the race. He recognizes that Louis only agreed to do this to be with Harry and support him. He feels a little guilty and like he abandoned his new friend. He had wanted to brush the fringe out of Louis’ eyes and thank him again for coming along, but their two groups had been separated before he got a chance. Now Harry acutely misses not having Louis by his side. 

As his start time approaches, Harry notices a woman checking people off on a clipboard and as runners were given the signal to start, a little device stationed next to the starting line went from red to green to signal your turn to go. Even though it seems like he’s been waiting for hours, Harry’s still surprised when the young woman in front of him is at the start line and getting her green signal to go. Harry’s next, and all he has time to do is check that his shoelaces are tied and that Johnny’s ashes are safely secure in the right pocket of his running shorts before he’s at the line with the woman checking his number off and the green light flashing go go go. 

The course is a single track, which of course Harry knew beforehand, but still surprises him as he starts off on his run. Harry can see the girl who started right before him about 100 or so feet in front of him, but as they both round a corner, there are several other runners on the path in front of them. Harry sees his girl who he’s started calling “10” in his head because of her start time, begin to pass these other runners. Most step to the side obligingly, but some have to be scooted pass like you’re trying to get by someone in a theater. Harry supposes that most people sort of guessed at what their finish times would be and that’s the reason why there’s so much passing happening already. He holds out hope that maybe Louis will be able to pass a bunch of other runners too and get closer to Harry in the process.

The course starts climbing fairly early, and within the first 2K Harry starts feeling the burn of going uphill in his quads. By the fourth kilometer the course has regular steep inclines with downhill switchback portions. Harry works hard going up the hills and then finds himself flying down the path on the other side. He passes several runners as he sprints downhill, once again having to do a modified sideways skipping whenever a fellow racer doesn’t move over far enough for him to pass comfortably on the single track. Harry keeps his eyes out for the marker marking kilometer 8 because he knows that this is the highest point of the race, and it will be the point where he goes off the path to find the place that Johnny had told him about. Harry comes rapidly down one of the shorter declines, passing two runners on the way, and sees that there is an aid station with water and what looks like first-aid essentials. The station is set up at the bottom of the steepest incline yet, and Harry knows that at the top of this hill is where he needs to be.

He does stop to refill the water bottle that’s strapped to his waist but after those few seconds, Harry presses on ahead. He’s really starting to feel the pull and the strain on his hamstrings and in his calves. Harry wonders with concern how Louis is faring; he looks at his watch and realizes that Louis started the race a couple of minutes ago and he hopes he’s okay.

When Harry gets to the top of the rise at marker 8km, he sees a small, barely visible trail off of the race course. He stops and takes the time to stretch his back and retie his shoes as several runners goes past him. He’s not sure why he’s waiting for the course to be clear of runners before he goes off onto the trail, he’s not doing anything illegal, but he feels self-conscious about it. When it’s clear, Harry steps off the course and heads up the small trail that seems to be leading to an outcropping of rocks that overlook the basin.

As he approaches the rocks, he takes a deep breath and a moment to look around. It’s beautiful here. And Harry totally understands why Johnny wanted him to come here. Harry feels tears well up and he closes his eyes and lets them fall. He has a realization for maybe the first time ever that he’s ready to truly start letting Johnny go. He’s ready to move on. Harry climbs on top of the tallest rock and takes another deep breath. He takes the vial out of his pocket and carefully unscrews the stone stopper and opens it. He slowly turns to his side away from the wind and turns his hand down to empty the vial’s contents. 

The small amount of Johnny’s ashes takes to the breeze and soars out over the pass. At that moment the sun breaks through and Harry takes that as a sign. He closes his eyes again and says a silent prayer for Johnny.

**************************************************************************************************

Louis was not okay. He figured this out about 3 miles into the race that to that point had been pretty much a straight shot up a steep incline. He’s never felt so out of shape in his life. Why was he so out of breath? He used to be able to run 3 miles in no time flat; even up the hilly Boston streets, hungover no less. Hell, he even smoked a pack a day back then! But today, everything hurt. His lungs burned, his thighs and calves were cramping, and he felt a bit light-headed. Were they in high elevation? Why was he seeing spots? Or was that just the sweat in his eyes?

Runners were passing him in a steady stream as he plodded on. He imagines that Harry is long finished and patiently waiting for him. Or maybe he and the guys are sitting around laughing at how long it’s taking him to get through this stupid race. “It’s only 8 miles, it’s only 8 miles”, he keeps chanting to himself as he continues running. Louis reaches a rise and then all of a sudden there’s a downhill switchback and he’s flying downhill. His cramping legs don’t seem to understand what’s happening and are having trouble staying steady on the ground, but Louis has too much momentum and can’t control his feet. As the switchback evens out and the race trail flattens, Louis’ left foot steps wrong and he trips; sliding to the side and skidding off of the trail, falling in a heap in the grass. 

A runner coming down the hill sees Louis and comes over to help. He’s an old man, with wrinkly stick legs sticking out of electric green running shorts. Great, Louis thinks, even this ancient grandpa is getting through this race better than me. Is he even sweating at all? The man helps Louis up and asks if he’s okay. Louis nods and leaning on the man for support, tests his weight on first his left ankle and foot, and then his right. He seems okay; more shaken than anything else. He’ll probably have a few bruises tomorrow he thinks.

Louis thanks the man and the old guy takes off again, disappearing within seconds around the bend in the trail. Louis tries running in place for a few seconds to test his legs and he definitely feels a twinge in his left ankle, but it isn’t too bad as he takes off down the trail. He’s already seen two people quit the race early on and he doesn’t want to be that person. He wants to finish this. The thought –– “I want to make Harry proud” –– pops into his head for a split second and startles him. Was he doing this for Harry? He doesn’t let his mind go there; he just keeps running.

A short while later he’s approaching the first aid and water stand that he remembers marks about the halfway point of the race. That means that he only has about 6 kilometers to go. He can do this he thinks. If only he didn’t feel like he was going to vomit everywhere. He stops at the table and grabs a bottle of water which he immediately downs and reaches for another. 

“You don’t happen to have any Tylenol or something in a first aid kit?” Louis asks as he throws the empty water bottle into the small recycling bin by the table.

“No we don’t, I’m sorry.” The woman manning the table replies, but then snaps her fingers like she remembered something. She unzips the fanny-pack around her middle and digs around in it before coming up with a small trial size packet of Ibuprofen. 

“Here. Take these.” She hands them over with an understanding smile.

Louis thanks her and takes the two pills with the last of his water, before setting off again up the hill. The brief relief he felt from the short break and the water was short lived because he now feels even weaker and crampier than before. He makes it to the top of the next ridge and suddenly sees Harry coming out of the woods like some forest deity. Louis isn’t sure if he’s hallucinating or not.

“Louis!” Harry shouts with glee.

“Harry?” Louis still isn’t sure he’s in his right mind. Why the heck is Harry still at this point of the race? “Harry, what are you still doing here? I thought you’d have long been finished.”

“I was communing with nature. And truthfully, spreading some of Johnny’s ashes here was more emotional than I expected. So I sat and thought for a while.”, Harry approaches Louis with concern, “But how about you? Are you okay? You look like you’re in pain.”

“Oh. Does it really show on my face? Yeah, my legs are really cramping up. I’m not sure I drank enough water this morning before we started. It’s taking me a lot longer to get through this than I thought it would.”

“Do you want to stop? I can take you back down to the water station and they can take you down to the start and transport you back to the car.”

“No. No, Harry. I want to…I need to finish this. Go on. Run your race. You were trying to beat Johnny’s time weren’t you? Get going. Louis makes a shooing motion with his hands, but then has to bend over when a sharp cramp grips his right side.

“Fuck beating Johnny’s time. I’m sure I ruined that chance by sitting on a rock overlooking the pass for the last 10 minutes. Let’s finish this race together. You and me. Are you in?” Harry extends his hand to Louis, palm up.

Louis smiles and nods his head. How can he resist this crazy, adorable, kind, goofball of a man? “I’m in!” And he lays in his hand on Harry’s, palm to palm; less a handshake and more of caring hold.

And that’s how they finish the race; side by side. Most of the last four kilometers of the race are downhill, and Louis feels like he’s flying as he and Harry make their way down the mountain together. Maybe it’s just his heart that’s soaring, but whatever it is, Louis hasn’t felt this feeling in a long time. Maybe ever.

Every fifty paces or so, Harry looks over at Louis, and somehow Louis knows when to look back at Harry, or maybe he just never stops looking at Harry, because whenever Harry looks over, Louis’ clear blue eyes are looking back into his bright green ones. Neither of them can stop smiling; sometimes the smiles turn to laughter as they traipse down the hill. Louis even forgets about the pain in his side and in his legs. Whenever Louis has to slow down or stop, Harry’s right there waiting, holding out a hand to help him, leading him down the trail. Louis feels invincible holding the hand of this strong and capable boy. The boy with the dimples that make his heart melt.

They cross the finish line hand in hand and are immediately met by their three friends, who crowd around Louis and Harry and hug them fiercely. Liam unfolds two of those silver heating sheets that he’s procured from somewhere, and Louis didn’t even realize he was freezing until Liam wraps the blanket around him and his teeth stop chattering. The guys lead them over to a picnic table that they claimed and give them water, juice and bananas. Louis and Harry are sitting on opposite sides of the table, completely focused on each other as their three friends regale them with stories of what they saw while standing at the finish line watching the end of the race. Louis isn’t sure he’s heard anything that Liam or Niall has said in the last few minutes. He can only focus on Harry, and the way that Harry’s eyes have grown darker, as if he’s reading Louis’ mind and is perfectly on the same page as he.

Harry and Louis are startled out of their lust gazes when a name they all recognize comes over the sound system pumping through the park. 

“Lewis Tomlinson? Lewis Tomlinson please come to the finish line. Will Lewis Tomlinson come to the finish line?”

Louis and his friends stand up from the picnic table in confusion. Louis rolls his eyes and thinks he must’ve messed up at some point in the race and broken some rule. He looks at Harry and just grimaces and shrugs and then starts to make his way over to the finish line where runners are still crossing and being congratulated by their friends and family. He hasn’t made it more than 10 feet before he feels a soft touch on his elbow and he looks up at Harry who gives him a small smile. Harry offers his hand again, and Louis gladly accepts it, feeling more ready than ever to face whatever’s coming to him.

They approach the table at the finish line and Louis introduces himself, pronouncing his name correctly.

“I’m Louis Tomlinson. You said to come here? Did I do something wrong?”

The man at the table stands and checks Louis’ race number against his sheet before reaching out his hand for Louis to shake. “No Mr. Tomlinson, you haven’t done anything wrong. You’ve won the Wulfman Prize for Accuracy!”

Harry squeezes Louis’ hand and squeals with excitement. “Lou, you won! You won for finishing the race the closest to your predicted race time length!” He pulls a stunned Louis into a hug and Louis feels Harry kiss the top of his hair.

The official confirms that this is indeed the prize that Louis won, and hands him an envelope and leans forward to put a medal hanging from a satin ribbon around Louis’ neck. All Louis can do is giggle in disbelief while being held in Harry’s arms.

**************************************************************************************************

Later, in the car on the way to the cabins that they’ve rented to stay in outside of Butte, Harry only has thoughts of a nice warm shower and thoughts of Louis running around in his head. Harry can’t get Louis off of his mind. He keeps dreaming about him too; he has all week. _Louis is a breath of fresh_ _air and cheekbones; a lazy laugh and blue eyes – sometimes the deepest blue like the ocean and other times lighter like the sky._

_ Breath-taking beauty.  _

_ Fucking elegant.  _

_ Sharp angles and smooth curves. Alive.  _ He’s so alive, he sparkles and Harry doesn’t know how to handle that. He just wants it.

***********************************************************************************************

Louis sits on the shared deck between the two adjoining cabins they’ve rented. It’s late; he knows Liam and Zayn have gone to their beds, and he thinks Niall and Harry might have also turned in, although he faintly hears the sound of a television from their cabin. The cabin screen door opens and a freshly showered Harry steps out, wearing painted on skinny jeans and an old Rolling Stones tour t-shirt that must be an original judging by the several holes and tears in it. He’s already quietly laughing and smiling at Louis and he hasn’t even said anything yet. Louis turns to watch Harry come over to sit by him and it dawns on him that for days now he’s been trying to find excuses to make Harry laugh. Not just the happy yelp or the quiet giggles that he gives out so easily, but the one where he throws back his head and closes his eyes and full on cackles with delight. The Harry laugh that pulls you in and sucks you under. Louis never really understood what an infectious laugh was until now. Harry’s laugh climbs into him and gets under his skin and forces itself back out of Louis’ throat. It’s impossible to be sad when Harry is like this.

He looks at him, all lean and relaxed, teeth glinting in the last of the summer night light and Louis has the overwhelming urge to know what that laugh tastes like.

_ How has he not seen it until today _ ? Louis wants Harry as much as he’s ever wanted anything or anyone in his whole life.

Before Louis knows what he’s doing he scoots over closer to Harry and kisses him. His mouth is so much softer than he would have thought, gorgeously smoky and warm and bitter with hops from the beer that he’s been drinking. His lips slip slowly, experimentally across Harry’s. Louis wonders if Harry feels the electric scratch of his stubble grazing against his chin, and whether he likes it, or whether he’d rather Louis shave. He can tell that Harry is holding his breath, letting Louis kiss him; but still Harry doesn’t move, and Louis tells himself to pull away, to face up to what he’s done.  _ Just one more taste, just one more. _

And then Harry breathes out, his mouth opening beneath Louis’; and it's as if floodgates are released. Their tongues mold together, sliding over each other; teeth crashing. Harry nips Louis’ lower lip between his teeth, and Louis moans out loud because  _ holy fuck he’s kissing Harry _ and Harry is really, properly kissing him back now. 

He feels the other man’s body pressing against his own as Harry leans into him, and suddenly Louis is maneuvered back against the floorboards of the deck with Harry on top of him and his hands are in Harry’s hair. Louis gently nudges his thigh between Harry’s legs, and if the other man is startled then he doesn’t show it, so Louis untangles a hand from the curls and glides it up, under Harry’s t-shirt; finding the hot skin of his back.

To his surprise Harry grinds down into Louis’ thigh, and he can feel the rock hard bulge that now presses into his leg. His own cock is aching against the fly of his jeans, desperate for attention. Harry’s blatant arousal is making Louis feel brazen, so he breaks away from the breathless kiss and gently pushes Harry to the side. He pulls his t-shirt up and off, chucking it on the floor next to him. Harry lies panting next to him, hesitantly watching as Louis slides his hand down and slowly, deliberately, undoes the zip of his jeans. Louis didn’t know he could get harder; but the sight of Harry running his tongue along his lips, looking so gorgeously uncertain as he reaches down to work at the button on his own jeans is just too much for him. Louis mewls as he leans forward and brushes Harry’s hand aside, popping the buttons along the fly of Harry’s jeans for him. Harry looks so turned on but so unsure, and Louis whispers as steadily as he can manage, “Is this... is this ok?”

Harry says nothing but gives a sharp nod. He takes a ragged breath as Louis pulls Harry’s jeans down around his pale thighs for him and traces his hand slowly along the bulge in Harry’s boxers. Louis hooks his finger in the waistband of the underwear and pulls those down too, leaving Harry totally exposed; his flushed cock curving away from the plane of his taut stomach. He feels so warm against Louis’ cool hand. Harry leans his head forward into Louis’ shoulder. His cock twitches as Louis rubs his hand up and over the head, finger dipping along the slit, teasing out a drop of precum and making Harry groan.

Their mouths are near enough to kiss, but they don’t. Harry’s eyes are so blown. His face is a perfect mixture of lust and trepidation. Louis hopes to god he isn’t fucking everything up between them, but it’s a bit late for that now, he thinks; as Harry reaches out for Louis, fingers fumbling at his crotch. Louis lets go of Harry for a moment and deftly pushes his jeans down too, and Harry gasps as Louis continues to work him over with his hand. Harry’s palm runs tentatively over Louis, making him shudder in anticipation; but Louis can tell he’s nervous and thinks it’s time to put the other man out of his misery.

“Here,” he whispers, and he shifts to line up their cocks, taking both of them in one hand _.  _ Harry makes a low, wild sound and watches Louis stroke his hand over the two of them, his mouth forming a perfect ‘O’ of fascination and pleasure. Louis starts slowly, basking in the somehow-filthily arousing sight of it, savoring the feeling of Harry pressed so close against his skin; but he can’t hold back for long and soon he finds a rhythm as desperate as his need.

To his utter delight Harry seems to be in ecstasy. He throws his head back, exposing the long trail of his throat and Louis can’t help but lean in and suck a deep kiss into the spot where his neck meets his shoulder. Harry’s thighs shudder deliciously as Louis pumps his fist over them fast and hard and Louis knows he must be close. Harry slides his hand round to the back of Louis’ neck and his fingers tangle in the short hair there. He thinks he could come just from the warm breath whispering  _ yes, nhh, yeah  _ across his ear.

To Louis’ surprise he feels Harry's fist wrap hot and fierce around his, shaking slightly; gripping their cocks so tightly, and Louis knows that he is going to come. He’s tried so desperately to hold out until Harry finishes, but it’s been ages and the sight and the feel and the taste of Harry like this is too much and he can’t and...

_ fuck fuck fuuuuck.  _

He spurts all over Harry’s front and the t-shirt pushed halfway up his stomach and coats their hands slick and sticky and hot. Harry makes a desperate noise and then his cock jerks in Louis' hand, pulsing more come over the mess of their two tangled fists as he tightens his grip on Louis’ neck, working himself into their hands as he rides out his climax. For a while neither of them moves, still pressed panting against each other, jeans around thighs and fist over sticky fist. Their breathing levels out and finally Harry murmurs,

"Christ. That was something else.”

Louis allows himself to grin and rolls away, hastily grabbing his t-shirt from the floor and wiping at the mess across their hands and Harry’s front.

 “Yeah. Yeah it was.”

He stands and yanks his jeans back up round his waist as Harry does the same, but neither of them moves to fasten them. Louis looks at him and thinks that in that moment Harry looks so  _ young _ and open and almost lost, like he’s looking to Louis for guidance. Louis half expects him to say something sarcastic, or to laugh, or to tell him to fuck off; but he just stands with wide eyes and Louis realizes it’s up to him to make the next move. He doesn’t think he’s very good at this sort of thing. It had always been Rick that led, and while Louis comes off as confident, he certainly doesn’t feel confident when it comes to stuff like this with Harry. Perfect, beautiful, sinfully angelic Harry. Louis feels a little helpless but he wants Harry to know that he wants more than this; more than quick hands and jerking off on the deck of a cabin.

He steps in so his chest is pressed so lightly against Harry’s and kisses him on the corner of his mouth, almost chastely; but he lingers, and when he pulls away he only moves a few millimeters so that when he whispers, “Should we go to bed?” Harry’s lips move with his, their foreheads resting on each other and tips of their noses touching. “Yes. Whatever you want.”, is Harry’s answer.

They quietly enter Harry’s cabin because he and Niall have separate bedrooms with doors that close, unlike the other cabin. They make their way into Harry’s room and close the door softly behind them. They both strip down to only their boxers, seemingly on the same page, and climb under the cool, crisp sheets. Louis lies on his side facing Harry who is lying on his back with his left arm behind his head.

“Do we need to talk?” Louis cautiously asks.

“Um, yeah, maybe. I guess.” Harry turns on his side too and faces Louis before continuing. “So I...um...well, I’m not that experienced with sex.” Harry’s eyes looked down with embarrassment. “I was sort of in love with Johnny, and I was...I guess sort of saving myself for him?”, he sighs heavily, “But that was before Johnny got sick, and before he died. And I don’t know, I just didn’t think I was ever going to feel anything for anybody other than him, you know?” Louis nodded.

“I mean, I’ve fooled around with guys; I’ve gone on dates and made out and  _ touched _ a handful of guys throughout college but I never let it get further than what we just did outside.”, Louis inhaled deeply at this and let out his breath in a long, sad  sigh. “But Louis, I don’t want you to think that you’re like any of those guys I didn’t feel anything for. I really like you. I’m attracted to you.”, Harry reaches out and places his hand on the back of Louis’ neck bringing him closer, “I want you.” They kiss softly. “You’re the first guy since Johnny that I’ve felt attraction and lust for, and you’re the only guy besides Johnny that I’ve ever felt like there could be a lasting thing that could happen. That a real relationship was possible. Is...um...is any of this like scaring you off? Is all of this...well, is it terrifying to you?”

Louis shakes his head no. “Nothing about you scares me, Harry, except the fact that I’ve only known you for a week and I already feel like I want to know you forever. I already have  _ a lot _ of affection for you, and that’s sort of intense, you know?” Harry nods in agreement and Louis continues, “I don’t know if you’ve overheard anything of...if Liam or Zayn have told you about my ex, Rick?” Harry shakes his head and looks concerned. Louis reaches out and caresses Harry’s face with his fingers and tries to smooth out the worry lines on his forehead. “That’s sort of the whole purpose for our road trip. We’re delivering Liam’s uncle’s car, but Zayn and Liam came up with the idea of taking me along to get me away from Amherst and the bad break up I left behind.”

“My ex, Rick, cheated on me, had been cheating on me for almost a year. I caught him with another guy and all of his lies came out and it pretty much destroyed me. You told me that you were a grieving mess for a couple of months because of Johnny’s passing? Well, I think I can understand that a bit. I was a depressed and practically suicidal mess for over two months. And I’m just finding my way back to myself, and god Harry, you’re a big part of that. You make me feel strong, and capable, and fucking sexy. Thank you for that. I haven’t felt wanted or worthy in so long. I haven’t had sex, haven’t done anything with anyone besides my own hand in over a year. That should’ve been my first clue that Rick was cheating; he never wanted to touch me and it felt like I all of a sudden repulsed him. Rick’s the only guy I’ve ever been with. I came out my senior year in high school and except for a few heated kisses with a couple of guys that summer before I started college, I arrived to Amherst a clueless virgin. So because Rick was all I had ever known, the only one that I had shared true intimacy, I didn’t have a clue what to do when it seemed like he stopped wanting me. I thought it might be normal? Hell, I really only had Liam and Zayn to talk to about it, and Li was dealing with his own sexless relationship with his girlfriend Sophia, and Zayn was so in love with Liam that he had become an asexual monk who never went out or did anything romantic with anyone. They weren’t the best advice givers is what I’m saying.”, and Harry laughs a little at that, which makes Louis want to kiss him, so he does. “So I guess my point in all of this rambling is that I get it, Harry. You’re new to all of this and a little tentative and anxious, and maybe a little fearful. Well I’m new to this too. We can do whatever you want to do, go at whatever pace, define  _ this _ anyway we want to.” Louis brushes Harry’s curls back off of his forehead and kisses him gently again.

“I feel lucky to have found you, Louis. My mind is going a million miles an hour thinking about everything. I don’t even have a plan for after this summer, did you know that? I only felt capable of planning through to the end of this trip. I have no clue what I’ll do after that. Get a job somewhere in Washington State? Go back to Chicago with Niall, and be a third wheel to him and my sister? Move back to Connecticut with my mom and stepdad? I’m the worst kind of privileged - a rich kid with a fancy education and no ideas for the future. So it kind of feels intimidating to start a relationship with someone; even someone as wonderful as you.” Harry smiles and traces his fingers down the curve of Louis’ waist, feeling him shudder. “I don’t want to hurt you or lead you on, if all I’m going to do after a few weeks is take off for who knows where.”

“Listen Harry, it’s late and we’ve had a hell of a long day. We ran a fucking 8 and a half mile race up and down a mountain for fuck’s sake.”, Louis smiles fondly, “But let’s not weigh this down with more uncertainty and trepidation than we need to. We’ve got a month ahead of us and I want to spend that time with you, making each other happy, in whatever form that takes. Even if that means we part as just friends in August, when I have to go back to Massachusetts and start my teaching position. Let’s do as my mother says and ‘ _ live in the now _ ’. Just enjoy this time together.”

Harry smiles and starts to laugh, muffling the sound in the pillow. “Lou, why did you have to mention your mom? All I want to do is kiss you, and you’re killing the mood.” His dimples pop and this time Louis doesn’t hesitate to poke them.

“Alright you. One more kiss, then sleep!” Louis leans forward and kisses Harry, feeling his soft, full lips part.

“mmm, maybe two more kisses?”, Harry suggests, “Or three?”

Three turns into five into ten into twenty. A little while later Harry yawns and turns on side, pulling Louis’ arm around him and pulling him close. 

“Harry? Do you like being the little spoon?” Louis smiles so big that his eyes disappear into crinkles.

“I do. I like being the little spoon.” Harry says on a yawn.

“Well good. I’ve always wanted to be the big spoon, so this works out perfectly.”

“Yeah,”, Harry agrees, “we’re perfect together.”

Louis brings Harry’s back closer to his chest and buries his nose in his neck, breathing him in; lulling himself to sleep to the sound of Harry’s breathing and his smell. Louis can’t remember being this content.


	6. Washington State

**CHAPTER SIX - Washington State**

The rest of the road trip out to the Washington coast was made over just two days. The five friends all agreed that they wanted to get to the Olympic Peninsula as soon as possible, and there wasn’t a reason to dilly-dally or sightsee in Idaho or in the eastern part of Washington State. Because Niall and Harry were splitting the driving and could therefore cover more miles, Liam reluctantly agreed to hand over the wheel of the convertible for half the driving. This time it was Zayn who took the duties over, although Louis complained bitterly that they shouldn’t hold the incident that happened in South Dakota against him forever. He was a good driver!

The other difference in their caravan west was that after their intimate night together, Louis and Harry were sort of joined at the hip and wanted to spend as much time together as possible. So when it was Harry’s turn to drive, Louis would ride shotgun in their car and keep Harry company, while Niall stretched out in the back seat and slept. Louis figured that this way it also provided a good excuse to leave Liam and Zayn alone; he hoped that they would talk about more things than just superheroes and the latest graphic novels.

Louis and Harry seem to be in a good place after their honest talk about their pasts. They’ve both agreed not to rush into anything and to just enjoy each other for the next few weeks. Their three friends have stayed mostly silent about whatever’s developing between them, but all three keep smiling at the two lovebirds and Liam has given Louis at least four secret thumbs up when he’s thought no one else was looking. All Louis can do is roll his eyes at his friends, but privately he’s shared with Harry how important and special it’s been to have Zayn’s, and especially Liam’s, support.

As they near the end of the interstate as it empties into downtown Seattle, Louis is in the car with Harry and Niall. He’s currently rubbing the knuckles and playing with the rings of Harry’s hand that is resting on Louis’ thigh. They’re singing along to the “Grease” soundtrack at the top of their lungs, not paying any mind to a sleeping Niall in the backseat. Louis gets a text from Zayn that they want to stop at the first place they can at the highway’s end so that they can take a photo to commemorate the fact that they’re at the end of I-90. Louis relates this to Harry and wakes up Niall to tell him they’re stopping in a few minutes. The interstate dumps out onto a major thoroughfare near all of the sports stadiums in Seattle but they find a Salvation Army store parking lot across the street from the stoplight that marks the end of the highway. Louis suggests stopping there and texts Zayn to tell him. The five boys get out of the cars and stretch. Harry’s back can act up when he sits too long, so Louis makes a point of pressing his fingertips into Harry’s lower back muscles and massaging them as he bends over to touch his toes and stretch.

Liam, Zayn and Louis first take a photo with just the three of them to match the photo  that Zayn’s mom had taken that first morning of their road trip at the very start of I-90. Then they prop Zayn’s iPad on top of Niall’s car and use the timer to take a photo of all five friends. Louis then reminds everyone that they technically still have three hours of driving ahead of them, and if they want to make the coast before sundown, they need to hustle. Zayn, who’s been looking at his phone, then announces that there’s a ferry leaving from downtown Seattle for Port Angeles on the northeastern part of the Sound in 20 minutes. The ferry terminal is only a mile away from where they are, and although it does cost $25 for each of their cars, it will cut out two hours of driving. “Plus,” Zayn adds, “who doesn’t like ferry rides!” The boys all agree, and Liam looks at Zayn as if he was the moon and the stars, so Louis takes that as a sign that his plan with leaving them alone has worked some magic.

They make their way to the ferry terminal and are two of the last cars to get on the large boat that carries them across the Puget Sound to the northern tip of the Olympic Peninsula. The ferry ride is breathtaking. The water is smooth and a brilliant dark blue, and the late afternoon sun warms the five friends as they sit out on the upper deck, soaking in the sights and new experiences around them. Niall confesses that this is his first ferry ride; that in fact the white water rafting they did in the previous week was only his second time in a boat, period. The guys all tease him, but Liam promises that he’ll have plenty more opportunity to be on a boat because his uncle Tim owns a large sailboat and he knows that he’ll want to take Liam and his friends out on the ocean.

Once they dock in Port Angeles, Louis moves back into the convertible and Harry and Niall follow Liam down the coast Highway 101 towards his uncle’s home in Copalis Crossing. They travel through a bunch of small towns with hard to pronounce and interesting Native American names like Tahola, Tillicum, Nehabu, and the funniest and strangely dirtiest one, Humptulips. Louis cackles with laughter for five minutes and makes Liam stop so that he can take a photo under the town sign that reads Welcome To Humptulips, WA - population 869. Harry also can’t contain his laughter because he loves a good (or stupid) dirty joke. He has Niall take a photo of him and Louis together under the town sign, and at the last minute Louis feels Harry’s soft lips on his cheek in a kiss. Later, he coyly asks Niall to text him a copy of the photo, which he immediately saves as the lock screen on his phone.

They pull into Uncle Tim’s driveway about an hour before the sun sets. The five of them pile out of the cars and Liam’s uncle and his aunt Mary come out to greet them and pull Liam into a fierce hug. Tim moves over to the convertible and checks it over, letting out a long whistle of appreciation.

“There’s some trash that we have to clear out, and we should probably vacuum the trunk.” Zayn says, apologetically.

“Don’t worry about it son, it will be fine.” Tim turns to Liam and pulls him into another hug. “Thanks for getting it out here in one piece, Liam. It looks great.” Liam smiles with relief.

Tim invites all five of the guys into the house and Harry and Niall hesitate, not wanting to intrude, before Liam wraps an arm around each of them and tells them they’re welcome. Tim and Mary serve them a late dinner of turkey sandwiches with apple pie for dessert, and everyone sinks onto the various couches and recliner chairs afterwards, sated and happy. Louis is curled on the couch next to Harry, practically sitting in his lap, when Harry brushes Louis’ fringe off his forehead and tells him that he and Niall have to head to their campsite before it gets too much later. Louis immediately protests, and puts on a pout that would rival any one of his younger sisters.

Liam’s aunt overhears this and says, “Nonsense. Harry, you and Niall are going to stay here, just like Li, Lou, and Zayn.” Niall starts to protest that it’s too much and Mary shuts him down. “We have plenty of room. We raised 6 kids in this house and there are plenty of bedrooms. I know you boys may want to camp at Second Beach for a bit because it’s lovely, but it’s quite a hike in, and you can’t do it at night. So please consider this your home while you’re in Washington. All five of you can stay for however long you like.”

With that settled, the guys each take hot showers and get ready for bed. True to her word, Mary had set up a bedroom for each of them, with fresh sheets and a pile of clean, fluffy towels. Louis is just pulling back the sheets on his bed when he hears a knock on the door. He opens it to find Harry standing there smiling, in cut-off sweatpants and his beloved Rolling Stones tee.

“Hey Styles.”

“Hey Tommo.”

Louis moves back and lets Harry enter, and then closes the bedroom door with a sharp click.

“You see, over the last couple of days I’ve grown a bit accustomed to being spooned by you.” Harry admits bashfully.

“You have, have you? Well, I’m not going to lie, it’s becoming a habit for me too.” Louis climbs into the bed and pats the other side. Harry practically jumps on the bed, he’s so thrilled. Louis turns off the bedside lamp and they settle, with Louis wrapping his arms around Harry and pulling him close to his chest. Harry sighs as Louis traces soft circles on his chest with his thumb.

“God, I didn’t know how much I had missed this.” Louis said softly. “I missed snuggling. I missed holding someone and being held. I certainly don’t miss that asshole Rick, but I did miss the weight of having someone lying next to me, and hearing the sound of their breathing as they sleep. Thank you, Harry.” Louis kisses Harry’s shoulder.

“I like the way the steady rise and fall of your chest lulls me to sleep.” Harry confesses on a whisper.

“And I like pressing my nose right here,” Louis demonstrates, nudging Harry’s curls out of the way with his nose and pressing it against his neck, “and breathing you in. It’s become my favorite smell in the world.”

Harry turns his face to the side towards Louis. “But that’s just my shampoo. You can get it at Rite-Aid.” He rests his head back down on the pillow, giggling.

“Nope. It’s not shampoo. It’s you. Just you.” As Louis falls asleep he wonders how he’s going to live without this come September.

********************************************************************************************

The next day after a huge pancake breakfast made by Tim and Mary, the five friends take off to explore. Tim loans Liam his old VW bus, which is comfortably large enough for all five so they decide to all take that instead of two cars. When it turns out to be a manual transmission and Louis is the only one who can drive a stick, he crows with delight. “Ha Liam! It’s me behind the driver’s seat now!” Louis kicks his legs up in the air, he’s so excited.

They drive about 25 minutes up the coast to the town of Forks, which Liam remarks has changed a lot since he was last there as a kid. Because of the popularity of the “Twilight” books and movies, the once dirt poor town has seen a surge of tourism dollars. But the once charming, yet shabby town is now over-commercialized and overrun with cheesy tourist shops and fake vampire and wolf themed crap.

The five of them grab some lunch from one of the road-side seafood shacks dotted along highway 106, and eat at a picnic table set back a little from the road on the bluff overlooking the water. Louis doesn’t think he’s ever had fried clam strips that were so tasty, and as he looks around at the satisfied faces of his friends as they all cram their various fried fish items into their mouths, he knows sees that he’s not alone. He takes a long sip of his Sprite and is just about to remark on the food, when Zayn beats him to it.

“Oomph…” Zayn speaks around a mouthful of his crab cake sandwich, “this is the best crab cake I’ve ever had in my life, and I grew up on the Atlantic coast!” 

“I know,” Harry nods with agreement, “these fried oysters are better than any I’ve had on the east coast or even New Orleans.” He punctuates this statement by eating two more fried oysters dipped in remoulade sauce. Louis looks on in amusement, a little bit of lust, because watching Harry eat is an experience. He goes in tongue first; his pink tongue rolling out almost sensually to take a taste. Louis feels his cock twitch a little in his shorts and decides to move his focus elsewhere; otherwise he’ll have a situation to take care of on his hands.

They all pile back into the VW bus and Louis drives them south to Ocean Shores to go to the boardwalk, which is the only place on this part of the coast that really has any sort of feel like a shore town on the east coast does. There are arcades and bumper cars, surf shops, bicycle and Segway rental places, candy shops selling saltwater taffy and cotton candy, and tons of families, young people, and tourists milling around. Niall is determined to go to at least one Indian casino while he’s out here because he wasn’t old enough to go into one when they’d been out for their school trip years ago, and they decide to check out the Quinalt Indian casino up the shore a little.

The casino is over-air conditioned and reeks of cigarette smoke, and the guys look around to see that while the place is full of people gambling and walking around, they’re almost all over the age of 70. In fact, the guys walk around the casino for several minutes before they see someone else that’s around their age that isn’t an employee. They agree that they will each gamble just $20 and see how far they can take it. The guys split up and head to different areas of the casino floor. Niall and Harry both slide their twenty dollar bills into the first two side-by-side slot machines that they can find. Harry has never done anything like this before and just starts randomly punching buttons. The video screen of the slot game board whirs and flashes and before Harry knows it, his $20 is completely gone.

Niall looks over shocked. “WHAT?! You’re already done? How the hell did you manage that, Harry?! It’s been less than a minute.” Harry just shrugs, not really caring, and moves to stand behind Niall to watch his play.

“To be honest, I don’t know if I want you hanging around me, Harry. Your bad juju might rub off on me, and look here, I’m doing pretty well.” Niall points at his dollar total which reads $34.80.

“Alright, fine. I’ll go find one of the other guys and see how they’re doing.” Harry leaves Niall and goes in search of Louis.

Harry finds Louis sitting at one of the blackjack tables. Next to him, Zayn is standing at a roulette table, but he only appears to be observing the game, not gambling. Harry goes up to Louis and puts a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently.

“How are you fairing?” Harry asks while watching the dealer turn over two cards, an 8 for her and then an Ace for Louis.

“Better, now that you’re here. Look! I just won 10 bucks!” Louis points to his cards, and looks up at Harry with a smile. Harry just wants to kiss him, so he does, placing a quick kiss on lips.

“Niall told me to go away because I was jinxing him, so it’s good to know I can be somebody’s good luck charm.” Louis smiles again and pulls Harry down by the neck of his t-shirt to kiss him again. The dealer clears her throat to interrupt them. They both look up and Louis blushes as he nods that she can deal him in for another round.

Harry looks over at Zayn, who’s still silently watching the roulette wheel turn. “Did Zayn bust out early too? What’s he doing over there?”

“I don’t think he’s even gambled a cent yet. I’m not sure what’s going on in his head, but you know Zayn, he’s probably trying to figure out some philosophical strategy.” Louis rolls his eyes fondly before indicating to the dealer that she should hit him with another card. 

Harry bends and whispers in Louis’ ear. “I’m going to talk to Zayn and see what he’s doing. Will you be okay without your good luck charm?”

Louis turns and looks up at Harry’s beaming face. “Yeah, I should be okay. Just don’t  go too far, in case I need your help.” Then Louis winks.

Harry steps next to Zayn who nods a greeting and continues to watch the happenings at the roulette wheel. Harry watches Zayn’s face as his eyes go from the table, to the electronic display board above the table that shows the history of the numbers that have come up in that day’s play, to the spinning wheel as it slows down and it’s plastic ball popping around until it settles into a numbered slot.

“What are we looking at, or for?” Harry leans in and whispers to Zayn.

“Hmmm, I’m trying to figure something out…” Zayn vaguely replies. Harry rolls his eyes a little and crosses his arms watching in fascination as one of the men currently playing roulette seemingly just won and subsequently bet, what looked to be over five thousand dollars.

“Zayn?”, Harry leans in to whisper again, “Am I looking at that right? Did that guy just bet five grand on that one number? 27?”

“Yeah. He’s bet on 27 every single time. He alternates playing on other numbers as well, every other spin, but 27 is the constant. He hasn’t won on it yet.” Zayn abruptly stops speaking as the roulette ball settles into its numbered spot – 28. The dealer and the rest of the spectators around the table watching groan in empathy at the man’s big loss, but the gentleman simply silently shrugs, lights a cigarette and walks away from the table, seemingly unbothered that he just lost thousands of dollars on a single bet.

“Holy shit! I thought I was cavalier about money…” Harry remarks.

After the man has walked away from the table, Zayn steps up and lays his twenty dollar bill on the game felt. The croupier pushes the bill through the little money slot on the table and calls out “Twenty in!” to the floor manager behind him, before sliding a stack of 20 navy colored chips over in front of Zayn. The croupier then indicates that everyone at the table can begin placing their bets. Harry watches in fascination as Zayn places bets with half of his chips on the table. He puts one chip down on the space between 0 and 00, four chips in the center of the four numbers 8,9,11,12, and finally five chips down on 27. Harry’s eyes go wide as he remembers that this is the number that the losing man had kept betting and losing on. The croupier runs their hand across the board indicating that no more bets can be placed. If Zayn had bet anything more than just ten dollars, Harry would be worried.

The roulette wheel spins and spins, the white, plastic ball hopping around arbitrarily. Harry holds his breath and squeezes his hands together; he closes his eyes at the last minute and hears the ball into a slot.

“Winner! Twenty-seven!” The croupier shouts out.

“Zayn! You won! How did you know it would hit that number?!” Harry squeezes Zayn’s shoulder in encouragement and whistles. He feels hands on his waist and turns to see Louis smiling behind him.

“Lou! Zayn won! Did you see?”

“No. How much?”

“Er…I dunno.”, Harry turns back towards Zayn who is already placing another round of bets after collecting his large stack, “Zayn? How much did you win?”

“$165.” Zayn answers curtly; a little distracted. He’s too focused on his new bet. Harry and Louis both lean forward to watch what he’s doing. 

This time Zayn places five chips in the 8-9-11-12 corner again, and then slides six towering stacks of chips, the entirety of his money, over to rest on top of one number – 29. Harry gasps in shock and squeezes Louis’ hand when he’s realized what Zayn has done.

As the wheel and ball spin around, everyone around the table, including the casino staff grows silent, watching watching watching the spin spin spin. Louis realizes just as the wheel is slowing down, exactly what Zayn has bet on.

“He’s bet it all on Liam’s birthday.” He says out loud in a stunned whisper.

“He what?!” Harry exclaims, but just then the ball clicks into its final spot and Harry whips his head around to see…that the white, plastic ball rests comfortably in the wheel slot with ‘29’ painted in gold on the wood.

“Holy shit!” Louis exclaims and then steps around Harry to grab Zayn in a fierce hug. Several other gamblers and passersby are clapping, and the croupier and the floor manager are congratulating him on his win. Harry is jumping up and down like a lunatic and clapping his hands with joy.

Zayn just stands there with a small, smug smile on his face, enjoying the moment. He asks the croupier to cash him out and he’s given seven chips worth a total of $5,280. As Zayn, Harry and Louis head towards the cashier station, Liam and Niall bump into them. Liam is talking and gesturing excitedly and when he sees his other friends he calls out. 

“Hey guys! I just won $260 on the Monopoly slot machine!”

“Yeah well don’t get too braggy, Zee just cleared over five thousand at the roulette wheel.” Louis counters and once again brings Zayn in for a hug.

“FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS?!” Liam and Niall both shout at once.

“Yes. And keep it down you doofuses, I want to make it out of here without getting mugged.” Zayn shushes them and walks up to one of the open teller windows. When he returns to the group, who are now standing near the sign for the restrooms near the exit, Zayn looks around nervous.

“Come on guys, let’s get out of here and go back to Tim and Mary’s. I feel weird walking around with this much cash.

They head back to the bus and make their way up the highway. Sitting in the back seat between Niall and Liam, Zayn cautiously removes the cash that he has shoved in the pockets of his jeans. There are two packets of twenty dollar bills with a hundred twenties in each stack, there’s a packet of ten one hundred dollar bills, four $50 bills, and eight $10 bills.

“Can I touch it?” Niall asks hesitantly.

“Sure. Just don’t let any of it blow out of the window.” Zayn teases, but as he hands over the stacks of bills, Niall earnestly rolls up his window. He starts counting the bills, silently mouthing numbers as he goes along.

“There’s $5,280 here.”, Niall says after a couple of minutes, “that’s amazing!”

“Woah! Looks like you’re buying me dinner, Zaynie.” Liam kids, and playfully tickles Zayn’s side. The look that Zayn tries to hide on his face says that he’d gladly spend every last dime of his winnings on Liam.

The five boys get back to Tim and Mary’s house just before 6pm and once they’ve all shared stories of their casino adventures – Niall went up $200 then quickly lost it; Louis ended up making a modest $100 at blackjack – Mary says that their success justifies a celebratory meal, and she suggests that the seven of them go out to eat to a local Italian restaurant that she and Tim love.

Everyone showers and changes into decent clothes and this time the entire group piles inside of Tim’s huge, ancient Suburban and they head to dinner. The meal is lovely; filled with lots of good food and conversation. Afterwards, Tim asks them if they’d like to see the hatchery where he works as an ecologist. The boys all give an enthusiastic yes, and Tim drives towards the entrance of the Quileute Indian reservation. As they go through a gated entrance on the reservation, Harry starts to giggle and turns to his four friends.

“This sure is different than the last time we were on a reservation, huh guys?” The five of them start to laugh and then Louis bursts out, “maybe Liam should’ve made his big announcement to that gate guard we just passed. Hey, it’s okay for us to be here, WE’RE GA…!” Louis’ voice is cut off by Liam’s strong hands coming around from behind and covering his mouth. Niall and Zayn snicker and Tim and Mary exchange befuddled, but good-natured looks, and both shrug.

Tim gives them a tour through the hatchery, and takes them specifically to the lab that he works in. While most of the boys feign polite interest, Harry asks a lot of questions and seems genuinely fascinated and enthusiastic about what Tim tells them. Louis finds this charming, and decides that he’ll tease Harry about it later.

Once they’re back at the house, everyone decides to turn in early because it’s been such a full day. Harry and Louis don’t even put up any pretense that they’re not sharing a bed, so Mary puts Niall in the room she’d given Harry, because the bed’s bigger than the twin that Niall had slept on the night before.

Harry’s lying in the bed in just his boxer briefs when Louis comes in from brushing his teeth. There’s almost a predatory look on Louis’ face and Harry shudders with the desire he feels for him. “Come here and kiss me.” He beckons Louis over.

Louis approaches the bed and climbs up gracefully, crawling on all fours and eventually straddling Harry so that his luscious ass rests on Harry’s thighs. Harry can’t believe he’s this lucky to have this beautiful man staring at him with pure lust in his eyes.

“C’mere.” Harry purrs and pulls Louis forward by his shoulders to kiss him deeply.

Kissing Louis is an experience that Harry’s not sure he’ll ever get used to or grow tired of. Louis pulls back a little to stare into Harry’s eyes and Harry feels almost lost. He has an almost unbearable need for Louis. He sits up and wraps his arms around Louis, slowly tasting Louis’ soft lips again with his. Playing on the outside, he lightly strokes Louis’ lips with his teeth and tongue, greedily sucking in the little whimper that Louis makes. Louis kisses back harder, almost impatiently, but Harry wants to take his time kissing Louis. He wants to learn and memorize the textures just inside by running the tip of his tongue along the ridge of his parted teeth. He wants to savor him.

He moves his kiss down to Louis’ jaw and feels the harsh friction of his stubble under his lips and tongue. The sensation is both warming and burning at the same time. Harry drags his lips over the sandpaper roughness of Louis’ jaw again, kissing and licking over the skin and eliciting the most delicious sounds from Louis. He fastens his mouth to Louis’ throat, darting his tongue out to lick with delicate, exquisite care over the pounding pulse point under his mouth. Louis gently pulls away and rests his forehead against Harry’s, his chest rising and falling with heavy breaths. He slowly rises up on his knees and climbs off Harry’s lap and then moves down Harry’s body and pushes his legs apart to lie between them. Louis lets out a contented hum as he puts his fingers inside the waistband of Harry’s briefs and slowly pulls them down. Harry lifts his butt to help and as Louis gets the cotton material down, Harry’s hard cock slaps up to his stomach.

“Well, hello there.” Louis addresses Harry’s cock, which causes him to giggle.

Louis gets his briefs the rest of the way off and throws them off the bed. He settles back down between Harry’s legs and takes hold of his cock, running his hand up and down Harry’s shaft. Harry looks down at Louis and tries to focus on his face, to not think about how good Louis’ hand feels just spreading his precome up and down. Louis nods at him, his eyes dark, as if he totally understands Harry. He probably does; Harry’s sure his desire shows plainly on his face. Holding the base of Harry’s cock, Louis licks up the underside with his tongue, putting just the right pressure along the vein, circling the head, licking the slit. A blinding flash of light explodes behind Harry's eyes as the moist heat of Louis' mouth closes around the head of his cock. His tongue stroking with lazy thoroughness all around, tasting and teasing. 

Moving down further, Louis takes more of him in, and Harry thrusts upward blindly, needing even more, and hearing Louis gag a little from the force of it. Harry’s momentarily mortified because he thrust so hard, but Louis looks up at him and nods, seemingly to say that he’s okay, that he wants it. And Fuck! Harry finds that so hot! He wants everything with Louis, and Louis gives it to him, open and hot and hungry around him. His licking gives way to a sucking pressure, and Harry can feel electric shocks every time his thrusting brings the head of his cock in contact with the back of Louis’ throat. Harry pants heavily, writhing around on the bed; he knows that he’s close.

“Louis…Lou…I’m gonna…oh I’m coming. I’m coming!” Harry pants.

Harry’s abdominal muscles clench and he feels his back arch off the bed as he comes, pulsing down Louis’ throat. Louis swallows around him and Harry feels like he could come again just from that image. He pulls Louis up and wraps his arms around him, kissing him deeply and tasting himself on Louis’ lips. Harry moves his hand down Louis’ back and flips him so that he’s lying on the bed. 

“Now it’s your turn.” Harry purrs with a smoldering gaze fixed on Louis’ gorgeous face.

“As much as I’ve dreamed about having that pretty mouth of yours wrapped around me, I…um…sort of already came.” Louis blushes and rolls his eyes with embarrassment.

Harry moves back up Louis’ body and takes his face gently in his hand. “Hey don’t be embarrassed by that. Do you know how incredibly hot that is? You getting off just from blowing me? I feel so lucky. I am, you know. I am lucky.”

Harry kisses Louis again and feels Louis’ body languidly melt against him. Louis moves out from under him and stands up from the bed, taking his sticky underpants off and throwing them onto his pile of dirty clothes in the corner. He climbs back into bed smiling coyly. Harry pulls him close and Louis rests his head on Harry’s chest, letting out a contented sigh. They’re sleeping soundly within minutes.

***********************************************************************************************

The next morning Harry is up early, just as the sun is rising. Sunrise was Johnny’s favorite time of day, and Harry thinks it’s appropriate that he’s up with the sun today because today is the day that he and Niall will be spreading the rest of Johnny’s ashes at the beach at La Push in Olympic National Forest.   
  


The camping spots at Second Beach fill up fast, especially in the summer, and the National Park doesn’t take reservations, so it’s first come, first served. Harry’s plan is for him and Niall to make the hike down to the beach before 8am, grab a camping spot that’ll be large enough for the five of them to set up tents, and then have Louis, Zayn, and Liam meet he and Niall later in the afternoon. Harry thinks it’s important that he and Niall have some time alone to say goodbye to Johnny.   
  


Even though they agreed to the plan the night before, when Harry goes to wake Niall up a little before 7, Niall practically punches him and tells him to leave him alone. Harry continues to pester him, knowing that he’s only a grouch until he actually gets on his feet and ingests a cup of coffee. Ten minutes later, Harry resorts to wafting a fresh brewed cup of coffee under Niall’s nose to get him out of bed, and it works. Niall is showered, dressed, and holding a large, silver travel mug filled with strong, black coffee, ready to hit the hiking trail.   
  


They drive the short distance to the entrance to the trail that leads down to Second Beach. Liam’s uncle works for the Lonesome Creek Hatchery, managed by the Quileute Indian Nation Fisheries Department, and he’s letting them use his pass to park at the Hatchery because the small public parking lot for the beach fills up fast, and there’s better access to the trail from the hatchery.   
  


Once they park, Harry and Niall grab their camping backpacks with all of their tent gear and Harry grabs the box with Johnny’s urn, and they start down the trail. The hike is a little over two miles from the top of the bluff to the beach. The trail is a series of ups and downs, that has a set of switchback stairs leading down to a coastline. The two friends start down a short hill that leads to a part of the trail where you immediately have to cross a creek before beginning a short climb uphill. Harry wishes he wasn’t burdened by his heavy camping pack and the box he’s holding, because all he wants to do is jump the creek and run up the hill on the other side like he’s in a race. Instead, he and Niall carefully tiptoe across the creek and safely make it to the top of the small hill. The trail clears the small rise, weaving among huge Sitka spruce trees and skirting puddles and bogs, before beginning to descend gently. After about a mile, Harry is already tired and starting to sweat, and he can hear Niall’s labored breathing behind him. Pretty soon the trail begins descending and leads to a well-worn crib staircase, filled with gravel to even it out and slumping in some places. It’s still functional, but it doesn’t look safe. Niall makes a low whistle as they approach it.   
  


“Holy shit, these stairs are in bad shape! They’re a thousand times worse than when we were here four years ago.”   
  


“Yeah, they are. But they must be okay. This land is technically owned by the Park Service. They wouldn’t keep stairs around if they were actually so unsafe that people were getting hurt. They just look fucking unsafe.” Harry ends with a mumble.   
  


They switchback down the steep backside of the hill very slowly, gingerly taking each step. They finally get down towards the bottom where they have to squeeze around a large upturned tree that people have nicknamed the ‘cabinet tree’. The tree has large indentations and dips made deep in the bark by the elements that resemble cubby-holes. For decades visitors have left small keepsakes in the tree and it’s become like a living museum. Niall, Harry and Johnny had left sand dollars with their names written on them in sharpie, tied on a leather cord. Niall runs over to the upper section of the fallen tree and starts feeling around various holes until he whoops with joy.   
  


“Harry! They’re still here! Our sand-dollars are still right where we left them!”   
  


Harry joins Niall and gives him a hug, smiling big even as his eyes start to prick with tears when he sees Johnny’s handwriting so distinctive on his sand dollar. He takes his pack off and opens it up to dig through one of the pockets before finding the stone vial that had held the small portion of Johnny’s ashes that Harry had released over the Continental Divide. He puts the stone vial in the cubby hole with the sand dollars that Niall has replaced there. Harry feels happy about leaving this keepsake of Johnny there as well.   
  


“Okay, let’s get to the beach and claim our spots before there’s a whole crowd of people here.” Harry suggests, as he struggles a bit to put his pack back on. He’s glad that they’ve only got about 100 yards to go.   
  


Niall and Harry hit the beach a couple of minutes later and are greeted with a dramatic scene – sea stacks rise straight out of the water, and an arch to the north features a hole through which the wind whistles and moans. Harry can’t remember ever seeing anything more beautiful.   
  


They find a good spot to set up their campground, and set two tents up and spread out the remainder of their stuff to claim the space. Niall and Harry then pick up the box with Johnny’s ashes and meander up and down the beach for a while, remembering to keep track of the tides because they can come up on you fast and take you out to sea before you have time to react. They decide to walk a little further north to where there’s a natural arch and some rocky outcroppings. They climb to the top of the rocks and decide that this is a perfect spot for their ceremony.    
  


Harry lets Niall take the lead because he realizes that he’s been monopolizing the mourning of Johnny and Johnny was Niall’s close friend too. Niall tells his favorite story about Johnny, involving a prank they played at the campus library that led to a bicycle chase from campus police and Niall and Johnny naked, for reasons unknown, and hiding in the bushes of the Tri-Delt sorority house. By the end of the story Harry and Niall are nearly crying with laughter, holding their sides as they cackle with glee. Harry’s probably heard the story 40 times before but it’s still just as funny as the first time he heard it from them, two years ago.   
  


Harry just says how lucky he is to have known Johnny, and how happy he feels that they could keep the promise they made four years ago when they all met; the Three Amigos are back at La Push like they planned. Niall comments that he wishes they’d brought champagne or beer or something to toast, but he jokes that they’ll just have to make do with his water bottle. He says a prayer and lifts the Nalgene bottle up to the sky to salute Johnny. Harry opens the cardboard box and lifts the urn out, handing it to Niall to do the honors. Niall carefully unscrews the porcelain lid and hesitantly looks inside.   
  


“I don’t know what I was expecting to see. But it’s just dust. Just gray dust.”    
  


Harry nods, and looks expectantly at Niall, waiting for him to make the first move. Niall stares back at Harry before asking, “Do you want to do it?”   
  


“No Niall, I think you should do it. You were his best friend too.”   
  


Niall smiles and turns towards the ocean, taking a deep breath before flinging his arm out to empty the urn out onto the wind, careful not to drop it or the top. The ash floats on the wind out into the ocean. Harry imagines Johnny flowing out towards Alaska, maybe Japan. Niall replaces the lid on the urn and hands it back to Harry to put away in the box again. They haven’t talked about what they’ll do with the urn, but Harry thinks he wants to keep it. The two friends cautiously make their way off the rocks and head back towards their camp, arms wrapped around each other’s waist, to wait for their friends.   
  


Harry and Niall have their camp area fully set up by the time Louis, Liam and Zayn make it down to the beach. All three look worn out from the hike down, and grateful that they don’t have much to do besides putting up an additional tent, and placing the coolers and packs of food they brought down, away in the metal crates that are on the beach for campers’ use to keep bears away from the food.    
  


Harry muses that he’s never seen Louis looking cuter; he’s wearing red chinos with the cuffs rolled up past his lovely ankles, a navy and red striped t-shirt, and a faded red snapback. Harry has an almost unbearable desire to cuddle him. Louis drops his backpack and collapses on the sand and starfishes himself at Harry’s feet. Harry can’t keep the smile from spreading across his face and grabs one of the beach blankets that Mary lent them, and spreads it out next to Louis. He sits down and taps Louis’ hand, motioning for him to roll over to lie on the blanket instead.   
  


“How did it go this morning?” Louis asks from under the snapback that he’s placed on top of his face to block the sun that’s beaming down on them.   
  


“It went well, I guess? I don’t know how make-shift memorial services are really supposed to go.” Louis must hear the discomfort in Harry’s voice because he blindly reaches a hand out and links the fingers of his right hand. He gently squeezes Harry’s hand in comfort, which makes Harry inhale deeply and let his breath out in a sigh. A loud scream, followed by numerous people laughing breaks them out of their moment.   
  


“What in the hell?” Louis sits up and looks over to where the ruckus came from.   
  


“Yeah, those are the Germans.” Harry rolls his eyes.   
  


“The Germans? Please elaborate.” Louis raises one eyebrow questioningly.   
  


“About an hour after Niall and I got here and set up camp, a whole group of German tourists came down. There’s like twenty of them or something. They claimed the remaining camping spots. There have already been a couple of groups that have come down since then only to find that there aren’t any spaces left. I’m sure glad we came down early, even if Niall was angry with me for waking him up before 7.”   
  


“I’m glad you came down early too. I won’t even complain about the fact that you woke me up before 7 too and I couldn’t get back to sleep.” Louis tries to pout but he’s smiling too much to make it stick.   
  


Hours, and several beers later, they all agree that the Germans aren’t so bad after all. They’ve set up a large communal bonfire for both groups and everyone combined their food to cook a wonderful dinner feast that more than adequately fed the more than 20 mouths. Several guitars are brought out, Niall borrowing one immediately and sitting down with one of the Germans, named Kurt. They begin playing the guitars and singing various songs; from German drinking tunes to 80s pop songs. Niall even serenades them with Neil Diamond songs of all things, as they sit in a large circle around the huge bonfire and sing songs and share stories. Communication flows fairly easily considering the language barriers, but Niall knows a little bit of German and most of the German group know at least basic English, so it works out.

************************************************************************************************   
Louis leaves the circle sitting around the bonfire to go grab another beer from the cooler at the edge of the dune and notices Zayn sitting by himself, farther down the beach, near one of the Germans’ tents where they’ve set up an LED light on a walking stick that illuminates that section of the beach. Louis looks back to the bonfire and sees Liam and Harry laughing about something and smiles. He makes a decision and heads towards Zayn, who looks up at him with sad eyes as he approaches.

“Zayn, we need to seriously have a heart to heart about Liam.”

“What about Liam?” Zayn broods and continues to poke the sand at his feet with the stick in his hand.

Louis sits next to Zayn on the sand, stretching his legs out and crossing them at the ankles. “The fact that you’re in love with Liam and have been for almost the entire time that we’ve been friends. You never want to talk to me about it, even though you know I know your feelings. But babe, you’ve got to talk to someone about it. It’s eating you up inside.”

“Louis…”, Zayn whines, and then lets out a long sigh, “you may be right that I wear my heart on my sleeve and that my feelings are obvious but, I can’t talk to you about them, or about Liam, because you’re too close! I don’t think you can be objective; about either of us. You’ve made it pretty clear that you want us to be together, and you act like Liam and I being a  _ thing _ is simple and a given, and it’s NOT.”

“Why not?! You love him and want to have a thousand superhero comic loving babies via surrogate with him, and Liam loves you in the exact same way. You should see the way he looks at you –– like you invented the air that he breathes. It would be embarrassing if it wasn’t so damn sweet.” Louis wraps his arm around Zayn’s shoulder and pulls him close to his side.

“Oh Louis, you don’t know that…”

“I do too know that!” Louis interrupts.

“Has Liam actually ever specifically told you that he likes me more than a friend?” Zayn grits out.

“Well no, not in actual words. But I know that he does. There’s a reason that he hasn't been with anyone since he broke up with Sophia, and that reason is you! In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if the reason he broke up with Sophia in the first place was because he realized he had romantic feelings for you.”

Zayn rubs his hands down his face as if clearing his head. “Listen, I’m not going to lie and say that Liam’s “gay outburst” in that motel office last week didn’t make me think about a few things. I do think about Liam  _ in that way, _ but I’m not going to get caught up in some fantasy about us running off into the sunset together to live some happy homosexual pipe dream. The fact is, Liam may be gay but he’s never had a relationship with a man before. And he’s going to choose  _ me  _ as his first? I doubt it. I haven’t even let myself hope for it because hope isn’t something that’s worked out for me in the past. I don’t want to imagine the two of us getting together because it’s probably never going to happen and I don’t want to be disappointed.”

“Is this because you’re a top and you think Liam would also be a top?” Louis plasters a big fake smile on, trying to get Zayn to crack a smile. Zayn gives him a hard shove instead.

“Will you cut it out?! I’m trying to talk seriously with you like you asked and instead you’re making crude jokes?! Zayn looks like he might start crying and Louis immediately feels awful.

“Zaynie, I’m sorry. That was a stupid joke, you’re right. I just want my two friends to be happy and I know that being together would do that. You guys both hold your cards too close to your chests and never express things because you’re scared. But I’m telling you, you don’t need to be.”

“Lou, I just don’t think that Liam sees me as anything other than a close friend. I’m no longer under any illusion that my feelings for him haven’t been obvious, and I think that Liam is just a nice guy who doesn’t feel the same way for me, but also doesn’t want to embarrass me by bringing it up. There’s no way I’m risking my friendship with Liam by confessing my undying, unrequited love for him…”

“Your what?!”

Louis and Zayn’s heads both whip around to see Liam standing a few feet back, his mouth hanging open in shock. Harry is right behind him looking wide-eyed. Louis isn’t sure how he and Zayn didn’t hear them approaching through the dunes, but it’s obvious that Liam heard at least some of their conversation. Zayn hangs his head down between his knees and mutters “Shit”, and Louis decides that it’s time to get everything out in the open, the possibility of friendships ending be damned. He stands to his feet and brushes the sand off of his ass before speaking.

“Liam, will you please be honest and take Zayn out of his misery and admit that you’re in love with him?” Liam and Zayn both turn their heads so quickly towards Louis, that he can practically hear their necks snap. Harry continues to look on with wide eyes like he’s witnessing a car crash. Louis hopes it’s not.

“Liam!” Louis barks, and sees Liam sort of shake his head as if he’s breaking out of some spell. “Please Liam, I know I’m right. Tell him.”

Liam looks at Louis pleadingly, but then a sort of resolve comes over his face and he looks down at Zayn, who’s still staring at Louis as if he wants to kill him. “Louis is right.” Louis nods with satisfaction and crosses his arms. “ Zayn?”, Liam says, and Zayn looks at Liam’s face and then stands up, “I love you, Zayn.”

Zayn bursts into tears.

For a couple of seconds, Louis, Liam, and Harry look on in shock, but then several things happen at once. Liam lunges forward and wraps his arms around Zayn in a fierce hug, kissing his forehead and murmuring, “I’m sorry baby”. Zayn clutches Liam and just sobs harder, rubbing his face into the crook of Liam’s neck. Louis stands frozen, looking at his two friends in shock, and it’s not until he feels Harry’s hand on his elbow pulling him away and towards the dune that he moves of his own volition. As Harry drags him up the sand, Louis hears Zayn’s teary voice say, “I love you too”, and he takes a deep breath. He stutters out to Harry, “What...what just happened?”

“You did a good thing. You made your two best friends very happy.”

“But they were both crying just now!” Louis protests, pointing back towards the shore where his friends were presumably now kissing. He hopes.

“Those were happy tears. Those were tears of relief.” Harry smiles and takes Louis’ hand.

************************************************************************************************

Harry is up early again the next morning. He carefully extricates himself from Louis’ arms, trying not to wake him. He stands and then just takes a moment to look at Louis. He’s beautiful when he sleeps, Harry thinks. He pulls on a pair of sweatpants and a fleece hoodie and eases himself out of the tent, quietly zipping it back up. He slips his feet into his pair of Chacos that he’d left drying near the fire and walks up near the stairs heading back up to the trail where the pit toilet is located. After using the facilities, he makes his way south down the beach towards Teahwhit Head, one of the largest sea stacks in this part of the coast. Harry’s not sure where he’s going, but he knows he needs to go someplace and clear his head. He finds a path that someone has made leading up to the top of one of the ridges and trudges his way up. When he reaches the top he sits down on one of the large rocks near the edge and stretches out waiting for the morning sun to break through the clouds.

Harry’s not sure what he’s going to do about Louis; he’s got all of these affections and emotions, and he doesn’t know what to do with them. He’s happier than he’s been in a long time, and that’s because of Louis. But he’s also a little scared, and so fucking uncertain about what he’s going to do with his life, that he feels paralyzed. He knows he’s certainly not the only 22 year old college graduate who didn’t know where they were headed, with no prospects and a useless diploma that didn’t matter much in today’s job market; especially a Bachelor of Arts in Philosophy. Part of him wants to grab his passport and take off for Europe, destination unknown. Maybe he’ll traipse around Portugal or Spain; go to Brussels; check out Finland? He could do that; he had the money and the time. But did he want to? Would that be just running away and delaying the inevitable? Maybe he could do what Niall and his sister were doing; go to law school and become an attorney. Maybe the three of them could open their own little family law firm. Harry almost laughs out loud; there was no way he could ever be a lawyer. Med school was out because he was squeamish about most things; maybe he could become a teacher like Louis?

Harry’s thoughts went back to Louis, immediately making him smile. He couldn’t believe that he’d known him for just a few weeks because it felt like Louis had always been in his life. He wasn’t entirely sure he’d be able to keep on living without him in his life. But what would happen to them? Even if they stay out here for a little while longer, the fact remains that Louis would be traveling back east in August to begin his career. Harry didn’t have a place in his life. He wasn’t sure he deserved a place there; not yet. He isn’t sure if Louis is on the same page as he is, but he thinks so. Louis has been so patient with him; so understanding; so gentle and sweet. Harry’s a little terrified that he’ll say or do something to ruin the amazing time they’ve shared together. Harry sits brooding a while longer and then stands up as the sun finally breaks through the overcast sky, shining down onto the ocean. Suddenly he hears Louis’ voice –– boy is he going to miss that gorgeous voice –– and turns around, smiling to greet him.

“Don’t move. You look so beautiful standing there, looking out at the ocean. It reminds me of this poem by…hmmm…wow, somehow I’ve forgotten the poet’s name and it was someone I wrote a paper about. Maybe they shouldn’t have given me that English Lit teaching job after all.” Louis smirks and wraps his arms around Harry from behind, hooking his chin over Harry’s shoulder.

“Anyway, the poem goes something like  _ Along the crest of the ridge, among the rampikes, silhouetted dark and large against the sunrise, my lover stands… _ ”

“What’s a rampike?” Harry turns and asks with teasing smile.

“I think it’s like a dead tree?” Louis shrugs, and then kisses Harry’s windblown and cool cheek. “What are doing up here, anyway? And why were you up so early when you didn’t need to be?”

“I woke up having to pee, and then I just didn’t feel like going to back to sleep. And I kind of needed to think for a bit.” Harry’s forehead develops worry lines and Louis turns Harry to fully face him and wraps his arms around his waist again.

“Are these thoughts that you need to keep to yourself, or do you want to share them?”

“I think…I need to keep them to myself for now. If that’s okay?” Harry answers hesitantly. 

“Of course it’s okay. I just don’t want you to think that you can’t ever talk to me about stuff. I’m here for you. I make a pretty good sounding board.” Louis sounds and looks so sincere and sweet that Harry can’t help but kiss him. After a few minutes, when Harry feels like he’s could get lost in their kisses, he pulls back slightly, and Louis protests with a short breathless whine. “Why’d you stop?”

Harry smiles and it quirks to the side at Louis’ pouty face. Louis crosses his eyes at him and sticks his tongue out and Harry laughs; one of his great honking cackles. Once his laughter fades, he looks at Louis and they seem to share a special moment. Harry rests his forehead against Louis’ and Louis leans forward to capture Harry’s lips again in a kiss. 

“C’mon you. I’m hungry. What are you making me for breakfast?” Harry laughs again at that, and the two head down the path and back to the beach camp.

************************************************************************************************

A couple more weeks pass and suddenly it’s almost the end of July. Tim and Mary graciously offer to let them all stay for as long as they want during the summer and even though they each have obligations and commitments that they can’t avoid forever, the five friends fall into somewhat of a routine that helps them escape from their looming realities for a little while longer. Niall is the first one scheduled to break their little protective summer bubble; he has a flight scheduled back to Chicago within the week.

No one’s at all surprised at how quickly Liam and Zayn have fallen into couplehood; they’re so obviously in love with each other that it’s hard to believe it took them so long to figure it out. They’re already planning out how they’re going to make the 4 hour distance work between Savannah where Zayn is going to grad school, and Fort Bragg where Liam will begin his officer’s training. Tim and Mary tease them that four hours is nothing, and that when Tim was in the Navy, Mary was a 10 hour drive away, and they still made it work. All this talk of long-distance relationships makes Louis think, and overthink, about what will happen in another couple of weeks when he has to go back to Massachusetts and Harry will be god knows where. He doesn’t want to admit that he’s fallen hard for the green-eyed boy, but he has. He’s smitten. And even though he told Harry that he would be fine if they were just friends and nothing more, he knows that deep down he’ll want more than just a friendship. Considering Harry hasn’t said one word about their relationship or really anything at all about what his plans are, Louis is feeling pretty well fucked. He thinks he might have set himself up for heartbreak and he only has himself to blame.

****************************************************************************************************

Harry has a secret. He’s had it for about a week and he’s not sure why he hasn’t told anyone. Well, Tim knows; but he’s sort of the reason that everything’s happening. Harry’s sure that Tim has told Mary. She keeps giving him looks of concern and almost pity; Harry speculates that Mary is probably disappointed that he hasn’t shared what’s going on with Louis, or even Niall. He knows he can’t put off telling everyone any longer; he’s got to do it that night.

Harry asks the guys to go out to dinner with him at this small restaurant in the neighboring town of Pacific Beach. They have a great meal and great laughs, and as Harry looks around the table at his four friends, his eyes lingering on Louis the longest, he feels a swell of emotion for how much he loves them and how special and wonderful this summer has been with these four people who he hopes will be part of his life forever. After dinner, which Harry insists on paying for, they all take a walk through the tiny coastal town. Harry leads them towards the beach and points out a line of small bungalows dotted along the road that runs along the coast.

“See that row of houses?”, Harry points towards them, “Those used to be military housing back in the 50s and 60s. They’re still used as government housing but the National Park Service owns them now and they rent them out.”

“How do you know so much about this?” Louis asks and he looks wary. There’s an unspoken “And why?” and Harry stares at Louis knowing that he suspects something.

“The state Fisheries Department now uses them for their interns.”, is Harry’s non answer.

“Harry what are you saying?” Niall asks sounding serious.

“Or not saying, as the case may be.” Louis sounds petulant and Harry guesses that he doesn’t blame him but it still sort of prickles.

“A couple of days ago I took a job at the Hatchery where Tim works. I start on Aug 1. I’m going to be living in that little bungalow right over there; the one with the blue door.” Harry stops speaking and there’s only silence and stunned faces staring at him. Well, three of the faces are stunned; Louis is mad.

“You got a job with my uncle?” Liam breaks the silence, still sounding confused.

“I can’t believe that you’re going to be staying out here! Does your family know? Does Gemma? I just spoke with her this afternoon and she didn’t say anything?” Niall says incredulously.

“You guys are the first to know. Well, Tim and Mary know. But I wanted to tell you guys before I broke it to my mom, stepdad, and Gemma.” Harry looks chagrined.

Louis who has been silent since Harry’s announcement abruptly takes off walking at a swift pace. He stalks towards the highway and is halfway there before he acknowledges Harry’s calls of his name.

“Louis! Where are you going? The car is the other direction.”

“I’m WALKING HOME.” Louis grunts out angrily.

“What?! That’s like three miles. In the pitch dark! And anyway, you have the keys to the car. The car that only you have the ability to drive.”

Harry sees Louis stall, and then stomp his foot in annoyance before turning around and heading towards where they parked the car. He moves past Harry and when Harry tries to reach out to touch him, Louis jumps away as if he’s been scalded. Harry doesn’t know what to do; he doesn’t know what to feel, but he’s clearly hurt and angered Louis and he feels awful and helpless to stop it.

The drive back to Tim and Mary’s is tense and silent. Louis drives the old VW bus at a breakneck speed, and even overcautious Liam doesn’t have it in him to admonish Louis about his driving or the speed limit. The minute he slams the car into park, Louis is out and sprinting towards the door to the house. Harry’s heart is in his throat and he feels tears pricking at his eyes as he makes his way into the house only to witness Louis firmly shut and lock his bedroom door. Niall sees this too and clasps his hand on Harry’s shoulder and squeezes gently.

“Hey bud, I’ll move back into the bunk bed room just for tonight. I’m sure everything will be better in the morning. Okay, Harry?”

“Yeah, okay Niall.” Harry can barely get the words out; he feels like sobbing. Harry and Niall go into the bedroom and Niall gathers a few of his things and leaves Harry standing forlorn after softly closing the door behind him. Harry throws himself on the bed and gives in to the tears that have been threatening to spill. He feels miserable that he’s made Louis so upset. But he also feels despondent because all Harry is trying to do is forge a path forward for himself and he thought Louis and he were on the same page. Now he realizes that they weren’t and that if he’s honest with himself, he and Louis never really talked a lot about what would happen after this summer. They just built a protective bubble around themselves and let themselves, laugh and cuddle and make-out like real life and tough decisions weren’t waiting for them. They’ve both been complicit in that. Harry removes his suede boots and all of his clothes and crawls under the sheets and tries to sleep.

A few hours later, Harry wakes to a soft knocking on his door. He has a splitting headache like he often gets after he’s cried, and he croaks out, “come in” to whoever’s on the other side of the door. He doesn’t expect to see Louis standing in the doorway, looking chagrined and a little ashamed.

“Harry, can we talk?” He asks nervously.

“Uh yeah, sure.” Harry sits up so that’s he’s leaning against the headboard, and makes space for Louis to sit on the bed, which Louis does, facing him and looking very uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry I reacted the way I did earlier. Even as I could feel the outrage growing inside me, I could also feel emotions of happiness and regret all mixed together.”

“Oh Lou…”, Harry starts to lift his hand towards Louis, but he stops him with a sad smile.

“No, let me finish saying this, Harry, or I won’t have the courage to do so later. I haven’t slept because I’ve been thinking about you; about us. And I realize that I’ve been putting what’s happening between us into two boxes; a friendship box, and a more than friends box; a maybe could be boyfriend box. And that’s on me; I totally take responsibility for thinking about an ‘us’ that maybe doesn’t exist. But I want to say that the Friend me? The friend Me is very proud of you for figuring out a next step for yourself and taking this initiative. The wannabe More than Friends Me is mad at you and I’m sorry about that too.”

“Louis…” Harry starts pleadingly, but Louis shakes his head and holds up his hand to stop him again.

“I know I have no right to be mad. You never made any promises to me. In fact you specifically told me that you didn’t want to get into a serious relationship with me because you felt so unsure about everything in your life. So I’m not really mad at you; I’m mad at myself. I did this. I fell too deep and too hard. I gave my heart even though you didn’t ask for it. This is my fault.”

Harry can’t take anymore and leans forward to drag Louis closer to him on the bed. “Louis, stop. Now stop this. You do have a right to be a little angry at me. I just went ahead and randomly decided to take this research job at the Hatchery without consulting anybody. I didn’t even tell Tim that I was applying for the position until he confronted me about it after getting some reference questions about me. I know I messed up. You said that you take responsibility for thinking about an ‘us’ that doesn’t exist; well I’m telling you that it just doesn’t exist,  _ yet _ .” Harry reaches out to hold Louis’ hands in his own, “I want more with you. I think I could want everything with you. But I have to want more with  _ myself _ first.”

Louis closes his eyes and takes a deep breath; Harry feels like he’s holding his breath with him. Louis exhales and nods his head slowly, giving Harry a small smile.

“Okay. Okay, Harry. I know there’s probably a thousand more things that we need to talk about but I’m really fucking tired right now. Do you think we can just go to sleep? Can I stay here with you?”

Harry is suddenly very conscious of the fact that he’s naked under the sheet and he bashfully admits his state of undress to Louis. Louis rolls his eyes fondly.

“I promise to control myself. We’ll just sleep, I swear.” Louis pulls back the sheet and crawls in, quickly taking his place as Big Spoon, wrapping his arm around Harry and pulling him close. “I really don’t know how I’m going to manage to sleep without this.” Louis whispers into the nape of Harry’s neck, kissing it sweetly. Harry feels his throat tighten with words of affection that he’s not sure he ready to admit, so he just holds on tighter to Louis’ hand and closes his eyes, hoping for sleep.

*************************************************************************************************

The rest of their time all together seems to speed by for the five friends. Niall is the first to head back; everyone, including Tim and Mary, who feel like they’ve gained four new sons along with their fabulous nephew, make the trip to Seattle to see Niall on his way back to Chicago. Niall makes Harry promise to call him every day and that he’ll come to Chicago as often as he can to see Niall and Gemma. Harry promises that he’ll definitely make the daily call to his sister and Niall, and that he’ll see what he can do about a real visit. They share a long hug and Niall leaves them, waving madly as he begins going through the security line.

The following week it’s Liam and Zayn’s turn to say farewell. This time the goodbyes are said on the Southworth dock where the passenger ferry will carry the couple to Seattle, where they’ll stay for two nights at a hotel downtown and do some sightseeing before flying back to Massachusetts. Neither boy has told their families yet (Tim and Mary excepted) about their burgeoning relationship, and Liam and Zayn want to talk to their parents in person before they pack their cars up and travel down to the southeast together. Louis will be on the same flight out of Seattle but Liam thought it was a good idea to let Louis and Harry have some time to themselves. As Liam goes to step on the ferry after Zayn, Louis suddenly flings himself at him, crushing Liam in a fierce hug.

“I really love you, you know that?” Louis confides in a whisper.

“Yeah, I know. Now, go get your boy and we’ll see you in two days at the airport.”

Louis and Harry head back to Tim and Mary’s house, only to grab Louis’ things and pack them in Harry’s new car. Well, new to him. The ugly, but well-functioning 1990 Honda hatchback only cost Harry $500, and he feels he got an excellent deal for something that he knows he’ll need. He also bought a used bike that he’ll mostly use to travel the couple of miles to and from the hatchery to his cottage home. The cottage that Harry gets as part of his small salary came furnished, but Louis still goes with him to the Wal-Mart to buy new bed linens and towels, along with a few groceries to get him through the week. The plan is for Louis to help get Harry settled in his new place, and get to spend some quality time together before Louis leaves for Massachusetts.

Harry cooks a delicious dinner in his new home of beef fajitas with homemade chocolate cake for dessert. Afterwards they take a short walk to the beach and take seats on a huge, old bleached out log, facing the ocean. They fall silent for several minutes, both looking out at the water with a sky above that’s still dusted with orange and pink from the setting sun. Harry is the first to break the stillness between them.

“So is this a rampike that we’re sitting on?” He teases Louis, smiling wide.

“Heh, I guess it is.” Louis grows silent again and returns to staring out at the waves.

“What’s on your mind? You’re uncharacteristically quiet.”

Louis gazes at Harry with an unreadable expression on his face. “To be honest, I’m thinking about the fact that you’re getting to be with Johnny after all.” Harry is taken aback by this, but Louis continues to explain, “You’re living and working right where you put Johnny; in a place that already held so many memories for you. He’s still in your life, and I guess I’m having trouble making a place for myself in your life.”

Harry moves closer to him and pulls Louis close, wrapping his arm around Louis’ shoulders. “You’ve got a place in my life, if you want it.” Harry looks sincerely into Louis’ eyes, which are a dark blue in the fading light.

“Yeah? I do?” Louis smiles timidly up at Harry and all he wants to do is kiss the doubt and trepidation away from Louis’ face. Harry only nods his assurance and pulls Louis up from the log and takes him back to the house to show him just how much he means to him.

They share a heated kiss as soon as they step through the door. Shoes, sweaters and sweatshirts get pulled off quickly and they don’t even bother with going anywhere other than straight to the bedroom. Soon they’re lying naked on the bed; Harry lies on top of Louis, stroking his hands up and down Louis’s sides while exploring his mouth with his tongue. They kiss for what seems like hours, their lips bruised and their throats littered with love bites. They’re both unbearably hard and their breaths are coming out in short pants. Harry reaches between their bodies and tenderly takes grasp of Louis’ thick cock which blurts out a little bit of pre-come from the stimulation.

“Ahhh your hands feel so good on me.” Louis moans.

“I can make you feel even better.” Harry mouths down Louis’ chest, licking and nipping at his nipples. Harry pauses momentarily and sits up to reach over to the nightstand pull a bottle of lube out of the drawer.

“Was that lube here?” Louis asks on a giggle.

“No! I bought it; today at Wal-Mart. I was really embarrassed when that old woman rang up my stuff. I’m pretty sure she was judging me.”

“Oh who cares about some old woman! My Harry bought his first lube!”

“It wasn’t my first bottle of lube, ever! Just the first I’ve bought in a while.” Harry presses his flushed and self-conscious face into the crook of Louis’ neck. “I bought condoms too.” He mumbles into Louis’ skin.

“Oh babe, I didn’t mean to tease. What are you going to do with these items tonight? What you do want to do with me?” Louis lifts Harry’s head from his chest and brushes the curls off his forehead; he kisses him again deeply.

When Harry pulls back a little he asks a question he’s wanted to ask Louis all day. “What do you want, Louis? What can I give you?”

Louis covers his face with his arm and then answers softly, “I want you to fuck me. Will you fuck me, Harry?”

Harry moves Louis’ arm away and looks into his beautiful eyes which look uncertain and a little sad, but are also filled with love.

“Yeah?” Harry kisses along Louis’ jaw and sucks another bruise into his delicate throat. “You’ll have to show me what to do, and I can’t promise you that I’ll be at all good at it, but I’d love to share that with you.”

“You’ll be great, I just know it. But I’ll need lots of prep. It’s been well over a year for me and that beautiful, monster cock of yours is going to be a tight fit.” Louis teases with a smile that makes his eyes crinkle. Louis scoots further up on the bed and fully lies back so that his legs are spread, giving Harry a perfect view of his small, pink hole.  Harry reaches for the lube and clicks open the bottle, squeezing some out to coat a few of his fingers. Harry sucks in a sharp breath and brings one of his wet fingers up to brush against Louis’ little ring of muscle.

Louis throws his head and closes his eyes, already affected by Harry’s touch and he hasn’t even pushed inside of him yet. Harry looks up and sees Louis eyeing him with smirk. 

“What? Am I doing this wrong already?” Harry worries.

“No. It’s just…you should see your face; such a look of intense concentration, like I’m a problem you have to solve. Don’t worry you’re doing great. Now, more please.”

Harry gives him a crooked smile and presses a cool, slick finger against Louis’ hole. He runs several fingers over his hole until the lube has warmed up and then pushes one inside, going slowly. He spreads Louis’ legs a bit wider with his free hand and moves his finger further inside him,  and then adds a second lubed finger and crooks them upward, looking for his prostate.

“Nnghh…your fingers are so big! Oh god they feel so good.” Louis moans, shuddering and clutching at the sheets.

Harry can feel Louis’ thighs shaking as he clutches writhes around and tries to control his breathing.  And then Harry finds the spot and brushes the pad of his finger across it, and Louis arches his back off of the bed as he whimpers.

“That feel good, babe?”

He continues to rub his finger over Louis’ prostate and all that comes out of his mouth is a strangled moan in response. Harry adds a third slick finger and works them in and out, making Louis pant.

“Har…Harry…I need…I…please…need you…want you inside…” Louis can barely talk he’s so wrecked. Harry is so hard; he doesn’t need to be asked twice. He slowly removes his fingers and Louis lets out a whine of protest, but Harry kisses him and then pulls back to open up the condom packet and roll it on his shaft, slathering his cock in lube as well.

He braces himself over Louis and Louis wraps his legs around Harry’s waist. Harry takes his cock in his hand and slowly pushes the tip into Louis, moving forward until he bottoms out. He takes a moment to savor the feeling of being enveloped in Louis’ tight warmth.

“Harry…babe, I need you to move.” Louis practically begs.

Harry pulls back and then slowly moves back in. The feeling is incredible; he never thought it could feel this wonderful. They develop a rhythm, with Harry slowly pulling back and then quickly snapping his hips to plunge back in. Louis has been reduced to a groaning, writhing, mess of limbs; constantly crying out Harry’s name in ecstasy. Harry can barely hold on and he feels like he’s going to pass out if he doesn’t come soon. He gets up on his knees a little and sits back on his heels, holding Louis’ hips and driving deep. He thinks he hits Louis’ prostate with this new angle because Louis arches his back and cries out.

“There?” Harry asks.

“Yes! Fuck! Right there! I’m so close.”

Harry is spurred on by those words and moves Louis hips faster against him. He continues to pump in short movements and reaches one hand between them to wrap around Louis’ cock. He strokes twice and then Louis’s entire body goes rigid and he squeezes around Harry, keening loudly as he paints his chest with come. Harry doesn’t think he’s ever seen anything as beautiful as Louis’ face as he comes and quickly follows, his cock pulsing and filling the condom. They collapse and come down from their highs. Harry slowly pulls out of Louis and carefully removes and discards of the condom. He gets up, finding his leg muscles a little shaky and pads to the bathroom to get a washcloth to clean them both up. He comes back to find Louis exactly as he left him, starfished on the bed looking sated. He gently and reverently wipes off Louis’ chest and groin and drops the cloth on the floor. This time it’s Harry who wraps his arms around Louis and brings his back flush to his chest.

“Mmm, am I the little spoon tonight?” Louis purrs.

“Yeah, you are.” Harry kisses the top of his head.

“Harry, thank you. It was so perfect.”

“No. Thank you. I’m so glad I got to experience this with you.”

*************************************************************************

Harry takes Louis all the way to the airport, even though Louis protested that he’d end up making almost a 5 hour trip, there and back. They’re cutting it pretty close on time because they left the peninsula late, wanting to spend every last minute that they could in their summer bubble. Harry parks his car to escort Louis inside the terminal. Louis has grown silent and he looks on the verge of tears. Harry’s not sure he’s doing much better.

They meet up with Liam and Zayn near the check-in and the four friends hug and say another round of goodbyes. Zayn and Liam head on through security to get to their gate, leaving Harry and Louis standing there. Louis has his head turned away and when Harry gently turns his face towards him, he sees that a wave of tears are streaming down Louis’ cheeks.

“Oh Lou.” Harry caresses the soft skin under Louis’ eyes, collecting the tears there. Louis leans into Harry’s touch, and Harry pulls him into a hug. Louis’ body goes pliant against Harry and a small sob escapes him.

“I swear this isn’t goodbye forever. It’s goodbye for now.” Harry promises, and presses his nose into Louis’ hair inhaling his lemon shampoo.

Louis can only nod, and pulls back from their hug to wordlessly nod. He smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his stormy blue eyes. Louis pulls Harry into another tight hug and then quickly turns and heads into the security line without looking back. Harry stands and watches Louis go through the entire line and disappear towards the gates before he leaves to head back to his new home.

 


	7. Autumn and Early Winter

**CHAPTER SEVEN – AUTUMN and EARLY WINTER**

Louis exits Waterston Hall and heads towards the northern end of the school’s grounds. The faculty housing is located on the street that borders the campus on the north side. The street is technically not on school property but the Academy owns all but two of the small row houses on the lane that dead ends at the park where the school’s football and soccer fields are located. 

Louis climbs up the steps of his house and forlornly looks at the cushioned swing on his porch. The swing was one of his favorite things about the house when he got here, and now the weather’s turned too cold for him to enjoy it. He grown to love this little house in the few months since he’s been here. Louis shares the house with another young teacher like himself. Greg teaches Geometry and is a tall, lanky, sweet nerd with a girlfriend who lives in Hyannis proper, so he’s always over at her place. This means that Louis has the small, but perfect house to himself most of the time.

If Louis was asked to describe how he was doing, he would say he’s FINE. Louis is doing just fine. Is he lonely? Well, hell yes, if he has to be honest. He’s here on the Cape on his own, and while his family is only a couple of hours away, he hasn’t made many new friends, either on the staff or in town. The fact that he never goes out, probably doesn’t help. He keeps up with his friends scattered across the country. Liam is doing unsurprisingly well in both army officer’s school and med school. Zayn is kicking grad school ass at SCAD, and is going to have a showing of his art at a real gallery just after the New Year. Louis is planning to go down with Liam to see the show. He wants to buy a piece of Zayn’s work to hang in his bedroom on the wall near the window which is fairly screaming for something to be hung on it. Louis had spoken to Niall the week before and while he says he’s struggling more than he thought he would, Louis is fairly confident that Niall is doing amazingly well in law school.

And then there’s Harry. Harry and Louis talk all the time. They text each other at least once a day, and make sure to speak over the phone for a couple of hours one night a week. Harry’s research work at the hatchery is going well, and unlike Louis, he’s actually made quite a few friends in the area and he’s always going on hikes, camping, and sailing trips. Louis tries not to be jealous. Harry says that he hasn’t met anyone new that he wants to date; he jokes that Louis has ruined him for every other man. Louis tries to laugh along, but he can’t because he knows that Harry for sure has ruined him for every other man. Harry’s the one, and Louis doesn’t know how to admit it to himself, much less Harry. Sometimes their weekly phone calls turn into phone sex. Even 3,000 miles away and with only his deep, languid voice to get him off, Louis still has the best orgasms he’s ever had. He’s not sure what he’s going to do when he only has sad, lonely wanks to look forward to.

During the second week of December, as the first school term is winding down, and Louis’ preparing for the weekend’s performances of his students’ production of “White Christmas”, he realizes that Harry missed their weekly call. He’s never missed one before, and Louis’ not sure whether to be annoyed, worried, or mad at himself for blowing things out of proportion. As Louis is hefting two large, cardboard candy canes into the backseat of his car, set pieces from the school musical, he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. He gets in his car and starts it to get the heat going before pulling his phone out to read the text.

**_Harry: Hey Lou. Sorry I missed our call this week. But it was for a good reason. There’s something I need to share. Will talk soon. – H_ **

Louis doesn’t text back because he doesn’t know what he’d even say.

A week later finds Louis on the last day of school before the winter holidays, at his desk in his classroom long after the last student has left. He straightening the clutter on his desk and making sure he’s filed all of his grades for the term. Louis knows he’s really just stalling. He’s supposed to be on the road already, headed home to Amherst to spend his birthday and the Christmas holidays with his family. But he doesn’t want to see his mother’s worried face when she looks at him, or answer his sisters’ questions about his love life. Liam and Zayn will be up soon and it will be great to see them, but they’re not coming until next week, so he has to survive over five days under his family’s scrutiny.

He finally can’t find another thing to clean or organize on his desk so he admits defeat and slowly makes the short trek home through the fresh snow that’s fallen in the past hour. Louis is lost in thought, trying to remember how much gas his car’s tank has and whether he can make it to at least Worcester before stopping, so he doesn’t notice the figure stand up from the porch swing and come to the top of the stairs until he speaks.

“Hi, Louis.” Harry greets him with a wave, wearing a navy wool peacoat, a pink knit hat, and bright red fleece mittens. Louis stands and stares at Harry in shock as if he’s an apparition. Harry is here? Standing on his porch steps? Wearing fucking mittens?

“Wha…? When…how are you here?” Louis stutters out and finally gets his legs to work to step forward, as Harry comes the rest of the way done his steps.

“I told you that I had something important I needed to tell you.” Harry smiles his crooked smile and god, Louis had forgotten how fucking stunning Harry Styles is.

“Yeah, but I thought you’d text or call? You’re here?!” Louis starts to reach his hand out to touch Harry; not fully convinced he’s not hallucinating. Harry takes the movement as an okay to move closer and he doesn’t hesitate to pull Louis into a bone-crushing hug. Louis stands stiffly in the embrace at first, but then his body melts into it and his arms come up to wrap around Harry’s back. He’s missed being hugged by Harry.

“I came because I have great news. At least I hope you’ll think it’s great news. I hope I’m not wrong; hope that you’ve been missing me as much as I’ve been missing you?” Harry pulls back and rests his hands on Louis’ waist. Louis feels like he’s been hit with a frying pan; his head is dazed and he’s having trouble focusing. Harry must take his silence as some sort of answer because he continues talking.

“My research at the hatchery has gone really well. So well in fact that it got noticed by another hatchery and lab that’s been doing similar studies, but without nearly the same results I was getting. So they offered me a job. And I took it. I start my new job in January.”

All Louis can seem to do is nod his head. He’s so dazed and confused. Harry came all the way to Massachusetts to tell him he got a new job at some other lab? He doesn’t realize he’s zoned out of the conversation until he hears Harry say, “Lou, did you hear what I just said?!”

“What?” Louis feels like he might have had a stroke. Is this what a stroke feels like?

“Babe, the new job is in Barnstable!” Harry is grinning so wide, his mouth practically takes up his entire face.

“Barnstable?” Why can’t Louis seem to do anything other than repeat words that Harry has just said?

“Barnstable. YES BARNSTABLE!” Harry is practically shaking with glee at this point. And then, as if a bright light has been shone in his face, Louis finally understands what Harry’s said.

“Barnstable?! As in Barnstable, Massachusetts? As in the Barnstable that’s only 10 miles away from me?!” Louis knows he’s screeching in a high-pitched cringe-inducing voice but he can’t help it.

“Yes baby! I’m only going to be a few minutes away from you!” Harry pulls him into another fierce hug and then steps back and grabs Louis’ tearstained face (when did he start crying?) with his mittened hands. “Can I kiss you? I’m going to kiss you.”

Harry doesn’t wait for Louis’ answer; just sweeps in and captures his lips in a kiss. And oh, Louis has missed this mouth. How did he go months without kissing this glorious mouth? Harry runs his tongue along the seam of Louis’ lips and he happily opens his mouth to let Harry’s tongue wrap around his own. The two kiss for minutes and then Harry pulls back just enough to press his forehead against Louis’ own.

“Can we take this inside? I’m so cold.” Harry smacks another kiss on Louis’ lips.

“Of course! I…oh shit…I have to call my mom. I was supposed to be driving up to Amherst tonight to spend the holidays and my birthday with the family.”

“Oh sure. I can let you go. We can talk more about everything later.” Harry looks down in disappointment.

“Harry, are you crazy? I’m not driving to my mom’s tonight! I’m taking you inside my house and making you start a fire because I’ve never actually figured out how the fireplace works, then I’m making you dinner, which I’ll confess is going to be Top Ramen because that’s all I have in the house because I thought I was going to be away for three weeks. But we’ll make it work. And then after the gourmet dinner of 25 cent noodles is done, I want to stretch out on the couch and cuddle with you, and kiss you senseless, and have you tell me all about this awesome job that my brilliant boyfriend got in Barnstable!”

“Boyfriend, huh?” Harry smiles and pulls Louis to his side as they climb the stairs to the front door.

“Yes. I hope that’s not a shock or an unpleasant thought to you.” Louis kisses Harry softly as he unlocks his front door and steps inside, pulling Harry with him.

“No, not unpleasant at all. Boyfriends sounds nice. Boyfriends sounds really, really perfect.”

 

**FIN**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved being able to write this fic for Champagnerose. I made a Spotify playlist for this story, and after the authors are revealed I'll add the link to it.  
> Thanks for reading!


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